Haven

by Astra Rose

I will always put my freedom first. I make a vow to myself then and there. I don’t know what’s coming next, or even where I’ll be in a week from now, or a month, or a year, but I promise myself: I’ll do it my way from now on. Everything on my terms.

But Dane never felt this easy. Luke has a sincere warmth, and I already trust him way more than his smirking brother and hard-as-nails father.

“Are you in danger?” I ask. She pauses for a minute, as if she’s considering the question. “Maybe.”

“You’re safe here,” I tell her, keeping my voice even. “We’d never let anything happen to you. You couldn’t be in a safer place.” She speaks quietly. “Thanks.”

I feel lightheaded but happy. I’m safe, and I’m free. I nuzzle my face affectionately against Luke’s arm as we walk, unable to articulate it but grateful to him for letting me have those two things I want so much.

She’s not lying to us, and she’s not safe, either. Or wasn’t, before us. But we won’t let anything happen to her. Not to our girl.

Maybe it’s because it’s no longer being foisted on me. Now it’s a choice. I was never safe, until we moved here. I will do anything to ensure it stays that way. For all of us. It’s why I’ll protect Hannah, just like I protected Luke, just like I make sure I’m in tight with Marcos and Riel so I can protect this family.

Hannah’s cop will never threaten us again, I’ll make sure of it. He will never lay another finger on her. Luke may be the one who chased him off with a gun, but if he shows up here again I will be the one to finish him. Luke is the nice one.

I will protect her. We will protect her. It’s us she can count on.

He feels it as well, I realize. That she belongs here. She’s one of us.

And if he got me out that door, I would truly have never been safe again. He would have won. But he didn’t win. They saved me.

“I’ve tried to resist you. Tried to deny myself. But I thought about what you said today. Maybe it’s time to let go. To stop fighting myself so much. To let myself have what I want. What I need.”

We’re playing a game. It was an instinct I had, and now I know I was right. We’re playing Daddy.

But when Sean tells me, it goes deeper. It’s an assurance about who I am at my core. It reminds me of the way my father used to speak to me when he’d bounce me on his knee or brush my hair, and it makes me feel loved and cared for on a deep level.

With Sean, I feel something deep and intense as well, something that’s been missing since my parents died. I feel safe with him, and protected. He’s powerful on every level, physically strong but mentally resolute as well—able to solve problems and make tough decisions. Having his attention is intoxicating. I long to be the one he cares for.

To remember that what we did was for her. We’d do anything to save her.

We did it to protect Hannah. We did it to protect what was ours.

Not his Hannah. Not my Hannah. Our Hannah. Taking her together, now, after what happened last night, is a ritual. An initiation. She’s as much mine as she is his. She belongs to all of us.

“But what if… what if you have to choose one day? One day you’ll have to pick one of us.” She laughs lightly, and stretches up to kiss my nose. “No, silly,” she says, smiling. “No, I won’t. I decided, after Dane… trying to do what other people expected me to only got me trapped in a situation I didn’t want to be in. From

now on, I’m going to do things my own way, even if it seems unconventional. I don’t want to have to choose.”

“Why can’t it just be like this? All of us together. Like a family.”

It’s the perfect answer, and fucked up though it may be, it’s what I want, too. No rules, and no one left out.

She’s right. We are a family.

We look after her, I think as I nod off, but she looks after us, as well. “I love you, Hannah,” I murmur, as the weight of sleep sinks through me. “I love you too, Micah,” she whispers back, and I exhale.

We all start to transform with Hannah in our midst. Even the house itself is changing, becoming more of a home. She hangs art on the walls and cuts flowers and makes us eat dinner together, and loves us in a way that starts to soften all our rough edges.

Our home is more peaceful than it’s ever been, and for the first time in a long time—in a very, very long time—I feel something for another human being that I haven’t felt since before I became a single father to two small boys. I think I’m in love with Hannah.

Except that the Porsche is the thing that brought her to us, and I’m afraid that it could be the thing that takes her from us as well. Because the truth is, I don’t ever want her to leave. We need her.

She’s changed our home, and our family, and it will break my heart to see her drive off in this car.

“I know we don’t have a lot here,” I continue. “The only nightlife in town is The Rusty Horseshoe, and there are no coffee shops, no yoga studios, no fancy clothing stores. But… I guess what I’m saying, Hannah, is that it feels like you’re part of this family. Like you’ve always belonged here.” My heart skips nervously as I put it all on the line. “I’d like to offer you a permanent place to live, right here, if you want.”

This house has been a sanctuary for me and the boys. Our saving grace, worlds away from the projects we lived in before we came here. I wanted it to be a sanctuary for Hannah, too.

Staying here would mean putting down roots, settling in, and learning to trust. It would mean having a home. I just don’t know if I’m ready for that.

It makes me feel loved. He—all of them—make me feel so safe.

“I haven’t had a real home or a family since I was a little kid, and somehow, since I came here, I’ve had both. I guess that’s why your offer tonight kind of took me by surprise. It seemed too good to be true.”

“When I started to realize what I was feeling here… at first, it felt wrong. I told myself it couldn’t be the case. But then I remembered that promise to myself, remembered that I get to make my own rules now. So I decided, what does it matter if I’m in love with three men? As long as they love me back, then what’s the harm? Because… I am in love, with all three of you. Each equal, but different. And if you can accept that, and if you’ll have me, I’ll gladly spend the rest of my life here in Haven, and be the luckiest girl in the world.”

“We were afraid we were losing you.” “Never,” I say firmly. He’s not angry, I realize. He’s fierce. Possessive. “You’re ours.” It’s not a question. I nod. Yes. I’m theirs. Theirs forever, if they’ll have me.

“Look how loved you are,” he murmurs. “Three big men with eyes only for you. Three big men who want to make you feel good. You see how much we love you, Hannah?” “Yes.”

“I want you in my bedroom.” I lean closer, growling out, “You’re mine now.”

Of course, she isn’t really mine. Luke, Micah and Hannah, they have their own kind of relationship, and I’m happy for that. The boys are better, warmer, happier with her around, and it’s good for her to be with boys her own age—she should be. But when she’s with me, it’s different. She belongs to me when I’m with her, and tonight I’m feeling more possessive than ever.

“I don’t want to come in your mouth,” I explain. “And I don’t want to come in your pussy. Luke and Micah already filled those holes. Daddy needs something special. Something all his own. Okay?” Her eyes widen, but she nods. “Daddy wants your ass. Your tight little asshole for my big dick.” “Yes, Daddy.”

“I never knew how much I needed you until you got here. Thank you for staying here with us.” “Forever,” she says, and I nod. Forever. It’s just that simple. She belongs with us.

It’s the most perfect name I could have imagined. Hannah’s Hideaway, in the town that became just that. “Hannah’s Hideaway” could be the whole story of my time here. It’s what the house became to me when I was on the run from Dane, and it’s what Sean and the boys have become to me, too. A safe place.

They named the bar after me because they said it was my idea. Two weeks ago, the stage got put in and our first girls started dancing, and now Haven is home to the area’s only strip club.

They want me to be happy with all of it. They just want me to be happy. I smile at each detail, every new delight they show me, because it’s what I want for them, too. To be happy. We care for each other, because we’re a family. We’re bound by love. And I feel warm and happy and safe in my hideaway. My haven.