Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self

by Thema Bryant-Davis

Surely goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life. —PSALM 23:6

You have not felt comfortable or safe enough to truly be yourself or to feel at home in your identity.

despite the ways you may have been derailed by adversity, you can genuinely love and accept yourself.

A centered life is one that is grounded in your core values rather than changing based on the most recent trend, compliment, or outside expectation.

it is the ability to know, honor, appreciate, and love yourself wherever you are. You are a sacred being, worthy of care and compassion, and you are not alone.

There are also some who, like me, have had multiple points of disconnection. There may have been major roadblocks in your journey, or a series of potholes and speed bumps that slowed you down. Regardless of the path that led us here, we can make this journey together—the journey home to our authentic selves.

I want you to remember throughout your journey that you are not alone, that there is a we present in this homecoming.

Journaling, dance, faith, community, and therapy helped me make the journey back home to myself again.

this journey is about cultivating the kind of life you have never experienced, or you witnessed others experiencing but had doubts about whether it was possible for yourself.

You may never have experienced a sense of joy, fulfillment, or purpose in your work, but you would like to create a life where you enjoy your week and not just your weekend.

the word psychology means study of the soul as it originates from the Greek word psyche (soul).

We do not need to leave our minds, hearts, bodies, cultures, or spirits behind.

For people to have lived through trauma and still have kindness, a sense of humor, compassion, dreams, and a seed of hope that their lives can be better is pretty amazing. So before we begin the journey home, honor yourself for the ways you have survived. Perhaps you have some scars, but you are here nonetheless.

God sees this in me and I'm also proud of myself for maintaining it. Its never easy but has paid off over and over.

this journey is a radical, revolutionary act that resists erasure, stigma, stereotype, racism, sexism, and oppression in all its forms. It is beautiful to see you setting the intention to make your way back home to yourself despite all the naysayers who have systematically tried to tell you that you were unworthy of justice, wellness, and compassion.

Turner tried this but they were not and never will be successful. I am more beautiful and strong in my identity than their hate will ever be.

I am grateful that this book began with me as a little Black girl in Baltimore writing in a journal and is now manifesting in this moment where you are reading the words that come from my heart. I’m home.

Denial is never healing or transformative. When I cannot be honest about how I feel and what I need or want, even with myself, I am far from home.

Homecoming requires truth-telling—both to ourselves and to others.

busy does not equal healed or home.

The stories are reminders that you are not alone in feeling disconnected or longing for a more authentic life. As you read about my journey and the other narratives, I invite you to reflect on your life story, both the roads that took you where you are now and the roads you would like to choose in the present.

I appreciated these moments of bearing witness and being present with people as they tried to navigate the valleys of life. I had already experienced some valleys myself and understood the value of being heard, seen, and supported. When I learned that this was not just a role for pastors, but that for some people this was their life’s work, I made the decision to become a psychologist.

Homecoming is a return to authentic living that is based on truth, self-acceptance, and an aligning of action with values and purpose.

When I am at home within myself, I have nothing to prove. I am free to be myself without pretense or performance. Homecoming is moving away from the detours and disconnections and coming back to the wisdom housed in our hearts, minds, bodies, and spirits. Dr. Maya Angelou said, “I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself. The ache for home lives in all of us.”