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“I have faith in you,” I told her. “You’re smart and creative and intuitive. You’ll find the angle.” “Thanks.” Her voice grew softer. “I remember when I wanted to drop out of Brown and go to culinary school. Everyone told me I was crazy except you.” “I wanted you to do what makes you happy.” “I know. I appreciated that. Most people just brought up the money—didn’t I realize I’d never make a doctor’s salary working in a restaurant?” She mimicked the voices of those who’d doubted her judgment.
Being with her almost felt like a memory of something that hadn’t happened yet—maybe a memory of a dream. She was familiar to me, and yet she was a revelation.
“I’m thinking about you,” I panted, sliding my free hand over one breast. “I love thinking about you when I do this.”
It felt good to do things that made Felicity smile and twirl and sing. I knew it wasn’t about the money—I had no doubt that she’d meant what she’d said about staying in an inexpensive motel and eating pizza on the street—but she deserved nice things, and I could certainly afford them.
“You can relax. We’ll leave here without a ring.” “Promise?” “Yes.” He met my eyes, and my knees went weak again. “I promise.”
“You took my breath away. I’d say that’s good.”
“It’s just a gift, Felicity.” He took my left hand and slipped the ring on my finger. “Let me give you a gift.” “For what?” My voice cracked, and tears threatened to ruin my carefully applied makeup. “I don’t need a gift for being your friend.” “It’s not really for anything. It’s a symbol of our friendship. It’s a gesture of appreciation.”
I know most people don’t gift diamond rings to their friends—it’s traditionally something reserved for the one person you’re going to spend your life with. Your soul mate. But you know what?” “What?” He offered a hint of a smile. “At the risk of sounding a little crazy, my mom taught me that there are all kinds of soul mates—past-life soul mates, kindred spirits, soul ties . . . She thinks there are certain people you just feel a deep, extraordinary connection with, and it transcends time and place as we know it.” “I believe that,” I whispered, remembering how it had felt like I’d known him
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“This isn’t a real proposal, because this isn’t a real engagement. But I thought maybe we could have one real thing to celebrate our friendship and the way we show up for each other. Something that will outlast this fake engagement.”
“No more expensive surprises, okay? Promise me.” He reached for his whiskey. “That’s no fun. I like treating you.” “But this is all one-sided! How am I going to treat you?” He took a drink, swirled the liquid in his glass, and sipped again. “We’ll talk.”
“Yes. I bought the whole box,” Hutton said. “I like privacy.” I laughed. “One of those billionaire perks?” He smiled. “Exactly.”
“Shhh. From now on, you don’t speak until I ask a question. You don’t move unless I tell you how. You don’t come until I give you permission. Nod if you understand.”
“It’s not an apology.” He kissed my forehead. “I just like doing things for you.”
Here, I thought. Right here with you. In this place where I felt sure of myself. Comfortable in my skin. Were there still doubts buzzing around in my head? Yes. But they were softer. Quieter. I could endure them when it was only the two of us like this. I could accept them as part of me, because she could—just like she’d accepted the part of me that craved power and control in private because I felt so overwhelmed in public.
when we were alone, it was blissfully quiet in my head. She made it easy to stay in the present—she made it impossible to want to be anywhere else.
“Even though we want the path to be clear and easy, the truth is, sometimes there’s a lot of shit in the way. And the only way out is through.”
“My problem is that I love this woman you’re talking about like she’s a fucking piece of meat. And I can’t think of anything better than having her to myself for the rest of my life. The thought of being with someone else is absurd. The thought of her being with someone else makes me want to put my fist through the wall. The thought of losing her because I’m a fucking idiot is unacceptable.”
“I’ve never been in love before, and I’m not handling it very well.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m scared every word out of my mouth will be wrong. I’m scared she won’t believe me when I tell her how much she means to me. I’m scared that I blew my chance to be with the only girl who has ever made me feel like I’m okay.”
“So she put Merlin the wizard into Cinderella. And somehow, in the end, it was always Merlin’s magic that really saved the day.” Winnie laughed. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, Felicity doesn’t need a prince. She doesn’t need to be rescued. But . . .” She shrugged. “Every girl wants to feel like a princess sometimes.”
“I love you, Felicity. I’ve always loved you. And if you’ll let me, I will love you for the rest of my life.”
“That day my family showed up at my house and I asked you to keep pretending we were engaged, it wasn’t only because I wanted my mother off my back. It was because I wanted the chance to be with you without the risk of losing you. I didn’t trust myself not to screw things up. I didn’t believe that someone like me could hold onto someone like you. I was convinced that if you got close enough, you’d see all my flaws and idiosyncrasies and know you could do better.”
“Good. Because I’m wildly in love with you.” His eyes traveled over me. “You’re stunning, Felicity. I know I have to share you with a lot of people tonight, but I can’t wait to take you home.”
“This is the real thing,” he said, taking my left hand in both of his. His mouth hooked into a boyish grin. “I already got you the ring, and you’re already wearing the dress, so I thought maybe I should ask you the real question.”
“Felicity MacAllister, I’ve loved you longer than you know, and there will never be another human on this earth that matters more to me. I may not have magic powers, but you understand me, you accept me, you make me happy. I know this is probably a shock to you, and if you don’t want to say yes today, that’s okay too, but you are the only one for me, today and always.” “Yes,” I said, tears slipping down my cheeks. “Of course yes! A thousand times yes!”
“I couldn’t be happier for you, honey. It doesn’t surprise me at all that you’re first, because it’s Hutton. Maybe if it had been a stranger, I’d have questioned it . . . but you two have always been there for each other, and that’s what marriage is. The fireworks are cool, but it’s the friendship that matters.” I kissed his cheek. “I love you, Dad.” “I love you too, sweetheart.”
standing there, in this place full of warm memories, next to my best friend in the world, in front of the people we loved most, looking forward to our happily ever after, I had to admit that even with imperfections, some moments in life were still perfect. Both things could be true.
