Tease (Cloverleigh Farms, #8)

by Melanie Harlow

“God, we are so different. I’d have tattooed his name on my body by now.”

“If you could do anything else with your life, like if it had gone in another direction, where would you be?” Here, I thought. Right here with you.

“I never want you to change, Hutton. I’ll always take you. I just wish you could see yourself like I do.”

“Hey.” I pulled her close to me and leaned back against the headboard. “I cannot tell you how happy I am that you are not Zlatka. You are superior to her in every way. You are beautiful inside and out, and you are real.” “Thanks.” But her voice was hesitant. “I guess I’m stupid. I didn’t foresee this problem. But why would a billionaire choose a girl like me?” Rage burned in my chest—at the idea she thought she wasn’t good enough for anyone, at the assholes out there who couldn’t just mind their own business, at myself for dragging her into this. “Listen to me. You are way too good for every billionaire I’ve ever met, and that includes me. Fuck those people.”

“Sure he did. I said no way. And then there was this girl I was kind of crazy about—I totally blew it with her.” Her feet stopped moving. “What girl?” “This crazy smart, smokin’ hot babe in the Chemistry Club.” She laughed, swinging her feet again. “Yeah? What did you do?” “I worked up my nerve to ask her to the prom, but at the end of the night, I fucking shook her hand instead of kissing her.” “Why’d you do that?” “I was scared. I never thought she’d want to be with a guy like me.” “Smart? Handsome? Section leader of the marching band?” “I was a nerd with a filthy mind.” “That’s the best kind of nerd.” She gave me a little sideways smile. “You should reach out. See if she’ll give you a second chance.” “You think so?” “Definitely.”

“It’s so much harder these days,” Clara said with a sigh. “Especially for women. The list of things my daughters and granddaughters wanted to accomplish before they got married was a mile long. But finding love is an accomplishment too.

“Thanks for chasing me in here. I guess I did need you.” “I like when you need me.” He didn’t speak for a moment, and then I heard him swallow. “I wish things were different.” “Different how?” “All kinds of ways.” He paused. “I wish I had my magic powers back.” I laughed. “You’re enough without them.” “What would you wish for?” I’d wish for the guts to tell you I love you. Because I don’t need you to be perfect or magical. I just need you to stay with me.

“Those are the options? Something or nothing?” “Yes.” She nodded slowly. “Then I guess it’s nothing.” “Felicity, come on. We’ve talked about this.” I shifted my weight from foot to foot. “I’ve never been dishonest with you about what I can offer.” “I know.” Her voice broke. “And I’ll be honest with you now, and say that what you have to offer isn’t enough for me. I’m sorry.” “We agreed,” I said testily. “We agreed that it’s foolish to jump into the deep end of the pool when you can’t swim.” “I didn’t jump, Hutton.” Her shoulders rose. “I fell.” Her words stabbed me in the heart, but I was a pro at masking what I felt inside. “You’re asking for something I can’t give.” “I’m not asking for anything.” She wiped her eyes beneath her glasses. “You know, I’ve spent years being terrified of this very situation. Years of being careful with my heart so I wouldn’t ever be rejected.” “Felicity. Stop.” I couldn’t take her tears—or the fact that I’d caused them. “I thought I was so smart,” she said. “But here I am anyway. And even though I won’t ask for what I want, I won’t settle for less than I deserve.” What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I didn’t want her to settle for less than she deserved either, but I couldn’t deliver it. She was insisting on all or nothing, and my all would never be enough.

“My problem is that I love this woman you’re talking about like she’s a fucking piece of meat. And I can’t think of anything better than having her to myself for the rest of my life. The thought of being with someone else is absurd. The thought of her being with someone else makes me want to put my fist through the wall. The thought of losing her because I’m a fucking idiot is unacceptable.”

I hope you don’t think I’m upset with you—I’m not. I am upset, but only with myself for getting carried away. I forgot that it was all for show, and my feelings for you have grown beyond make-believe. This isn’t your fault. I’ll never forget this time we had together. Love, Felicity P.S. I have been and always shall be your friend.

“I do love her. I do. But . . .” I stopped in my tracks. “I can’t get over this fucking thing in my head telling me I’m not good enough for her.” My sister shrugged. “Maybe you’re not.” I stared at her. “Huh?” “I mean, maybe the thing in your head is right. Maybe you’re not good enough for her. Maybe you’re going to fuck it up. Maybe she’ll decide you’re not worth the trouble.” I frowned at her. “You’re not helping.” “But maybe,” she went on, “maybe you risk it. Maybe you get to spend the rest of your life doing things to make every day better for her. You’ve already got her heart, Hutton. So maybe you find ways—big and small—to deserve it forever.” She tilted her head. “Doesn’t that sound like a nice way to live?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m scared every word out of my mouth will be wrong. I’m scared she won’t believe me when I tell her how much she means to me. I’m scared that I blew my chance to be with the only girl who has ever made me feel like I’m okay.”

“Felicity MacAllister, I’ve loved you longer than you know, and there will never be another human on this earth that matters more to me. I may not have magic powers, but you understand me, you accept me, you make me happy. I know this is probably a shock to you, and if you don’t want to say yes today, that’s okay too, but you are the only one for me, today and always.”