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My father kept irises in the house for a simple reason. Iris had been my mother’s name.
“I’ll never take you there, Miss Spindle. You have my word.”
Why would she trust you
“Quite the family you have,” I said to Ravyn, shooting daggers. “One assault from the two of you was enough. Tell the Prince to take his Scythe and go, or I won’t breathe another word.”
You tell em
I know no one’s going to ask me what I want, the Nightmare said, snide to his bones, but just in case you were wondering, the answer is no. No, I am decidedly NOT agreeable. A surprise to no one, I muttered.
Drawn by my gaze, Ravyn turned his head. His eyes captured mine, falling a moment to my dress before shifting to Alyx. For the briefest of moments, I thought I saw the corner of his lips curl. Alyx was still talking when Ravyn approached. “And I—Oh, excuse me, Captain Yew,” he said, bowing his head. “I didn’t see you.” Ravyn returned his bow. “Enjoying Equinox, Laburnum?”
Actual tummy flutters
Alyx pressed his hand over mine, trapping it against his arm. “I have your father’s permission, Elspeth.” “But not mine,” I said, more forceful this time. “Now, if you please—”
Youuuu tell em
Ravyn’s arms were stiff as he pulled out my chair. When I still did not move, his broad hand grazed my back. “Please sit, Miss Spindle.”
Gentleman
And even that did not last. Especially with my heart racing. I inhaled abruptly, my lips parting against the skin of his finger. Ravyn lowered his gaze to my mouth. His finger slipped off my lips, his eyes meeting mine for a fleeting glance before he looked back at the door. And though it was too dark to be certain, I thought I saw a flush slide up his neck.
Bellah liked this
voice thick with mischief. Tell him your real magic. Go on. Tell him why you refuse to touch Providence Cards. This isn’t a game, I said. If I tell him I absorb any Card I touch, he’ll want to know the rest. He’ll find out about YOU.
I reached out, expecting nothing. But my fingers collided with the silk of his tunic, pressing into Ravyn’s taut stomach muscles. I retracted my hand immediately. “Right. Erm, sorry.”
Magic is love, but also, it’s hate. It comes at a cost. You’re found and you’re lost. Magic is love, but also— Will you just stop? I snapped. Just for a night—for one bloody night—can we give The Old Book of Alders a rest?
I was waiting for her to shut him up like this
The spindle tree at the heart of the courtyard,” I said, my gaze unflinching, “and the whitebeam tree my father planted next to it the day my mother died.”
“Have you met my stepmother, Captain?” I whispered, the remnants of my anger distilled in a single tear that fell to my cheek. “Lovely woman.” The same calloused thumb that had slid over my knuckles in Ravyn’s chamber caught the tear on my cheek—dragged it away.
I cant
Darling, the Nightmare said. You can’t make it so easy for him to control you.
Darling is reaaaaally quite sweet
Doubled over, hands on my stomach, I let go of a lifetime of strain and laughed, not a care in the world.
Is this their version of therapy
When I slapped myself a third time, Ravyn pushed away from the wall so abruptly the dogs leapt up with a snarl. “Enough,” he said, ice in his voice.
Doesnt want to see her hurt!!
his gray eyes full of me. He stood with his hands clasped behind his back, his feet shoulder width apart. He looked every bit the soldier—stoic and severe. But Ravyn Yew was more than a soldier. He was the shadow on the forest road. The keeper of keys and secrets, invisible but for his purple and burgundy lights. A man with many masks. A traitor, said the Nightmare. A highwayman, I replied.
I think back to standing against the door in Ravyn’s chamber, his body towering over me, his finger pressed against my lips.
“Do you think he’s handsome?”
“Yes.” Then, out of spite, “For a Destrier.” Elm cackled. Ravyn shot him a narrow glance. Still, I did not miss the way the Captain’s lips pulled at the corner; the elusive half smile, tugged by an invisible string.
What’s taking them so long? The Nightmare’s tail made a whooshing sound. Find out. How am I supposed to do that? Best stick to the old ways. Which are? Pressing a bloody ear to the door, I should think.
“What if we tell Erik Spindle and the Hawthorns that we’ve invited Elspeth to stay at Castle Yew... so that you might court her?”
HAHAHAHAH yes BRILLIANT IDEA
The Captain’s adamant refusal to court me—not even court me, pretend to court me—felt like a dozen wasp stings, leaving me wounded, hot with anger. “Make no mistake, she’s beautiful. Only, I—” Ravyn’s voice cut out. Then, as if the words were bitter in his mouth, “If the ruse will help...” He heaved a sigh. “I’ll try. Though I doubt I’ll play a convincing suitor.”
I moved to the step above him, where we stood almost eye to eye. Almost.
So hes taalllll
Ravyn stared back at me, his gray eyes severe as they traced my face, landing momentarily on my mouth before flickering away.
KISS
Ravyn tilted his head. “He’s in love with you.”
The head tilt omg
My voice faltered. “And if I should like to leave?” He held my gaze. “You’re not a prisoner.” There are many different kinds of cages, the Nightmare said.
Like being kn looOOve
I felt it again, Ravyn Yew’s hesitance—his discomfort when the King noted us together. Was it the lie that bothered him, pretending to court me? Or was it me he could not stand?
My girlll
All it takes is a single touch.” Coldness crept up my spine. I see a yellow gaze narrowed by hate, the boy had said to me. I see darkness and shadow. And I see your fingers, long and pale, covered in blood.
That dirty dog
Ravyn Yew. Infected. Did you know? I gasped at the Nightmare. He purred, gratification dripping like hot wax off his voice. I had my suspicions. And you didn’t think to tell me? You’ve had the man in your gaze all day. Surely you saw more than a handsome face.
The dance slowed, the final notes near. Ravyn’s hand slid from the small of my back up my spine, slower than it should have. When he leaned in, his jaw scraped against my ear.
Which perhaps was why Ravyn Yew enraged me so deeply. It was easier to hate him for being secretive and dishonest than admitting I hated myself for the same reasons. But I could not tell him that. I could hardly say it to myself.
At least shes aware
“And what are we, Miss Spindle?” The intensity of his gaze sent me back a step. “Nothing,” I said. Then, for spite, “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
He took a step forward, holding the blood-red rose in his hand out to me. “May I?” I looked at the rose, then back at his face. Trees, that face. Austerity and beauty. An imperfect, breathtaking statue. “I thought we weren’t pretending,” I murmured.
He offered it again, once more asking my permission. “May I?” This time, I nodded. He stepped to me and placed the rose atop my head, weaving its stem into the willow crown with strong, deft fingers. When he pulled back, his hand grazed the hair along my cheek.
Hes sooo sweet i cant
“We can’t exactly wear our family seals, can we?” Ravyn said. He paused, gently extracting the flower crown from my hair.
I didn’t miss the way Ravyn’s eyes jumped up and down my body. “Much better,” he said, a flush inching up his neck into his cheeks.
When Ravyn stepped to me, he hesitated, the flush from before returning to his jawline. Our eyes met a moment. Then, as if he was proving something to himself, he reached for me. His hands, broad and firm, met me at the dip of my waist, resting a moment on my hips. They were warm, his hands. And I caught myself wondering what the calluses along his palms would feel like against my bare skin. He inhaled sharply, lifting me with ease and placing me on saddle.
Ravyn sucked in a breath. “Had I known who you were—” “You would have—what? Been a bit nicer?” My nostrils flared. “I was alone on the road. You were awful, the both of you.” He did not deny it. After a long, uneasy pause, he sighed.
“There are so few of us, Miss Spindle. You are more special than you know. And it pains me to think I might have hurt you. I’m—sorry.” He paused. “Trees, I’m sorry.”
Ravyn’s breath caught in his throat. He reached down to his belt and pulled a dagger. My fingers slid off his mouth. But before they could fall, he caught them, lacing our fingers together.
“It’s just that, sometimes when I look at you, I feel like I know you—understand you. And other times...” His brow furrowed. “Your eyes flash a strange yellow color.
youre not gonna believe me when i tell you this
I cast my thoughts inward, searching for the Nightmare, who, since the mayhem in the wood, had remained still. Strange, how quiet he felt when I was with Ravyn. Almost as if he was gone altogether. Almost. I felt him there in the darkness. When I nudged him, he stirred but did not speak, stretching his claws like a yawning cat before retiring deeper still into blackness.
I just feel like you cant live without him as much as you dont want to
Ravyn led the horse to the castle door. When I slipped from the saddle, he caught me at the waist and lowered me onto the cobblestones, his fingers flexing just above the curve of my hips. They lingered there, even when my feet were firmly on the ground.
Hot
I felt resistance in his pause, he, too, lost to the world of things unsaid. “Of all the things I pretend at,” he said, his thumb drawing small, gentle circles along my waist, “courting you has proven the easiest.”
When I sat on my bed, something soft gave beneath my hand. The flower crown I’d made that morning had been placed atop my pillow. When I turned it over, a rose petal fell into my hand, red as blood.
“May I?” he asked. I nodded, his hands warm against mine. When Ravyn looked down at my injured hand, a strand of black hair fell from behind his ear over his brow.
You can do anyyyyything
