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Or maybe it’s because, deep down, part of me still hopes I can love him to recovery. That if I don’t give up on him, he won’t give up on life. On himself. I’m wrong, of course. So unbelievably fucking wrong. Some people just don’t want to be saved.
The sudden urge to push her against a wall and ruin both of our lives hits me like a brick, and if I weren’t already seated, the force would certainly double me over.
“You’re hardly in a position to be negotiating,” he says, voice thick. “Should I get on my knees then?” His free hand finds the button of my jeans, pushing it through the loop. Hooking a thumb in the waist, he gives a small shake of his head. “I’d much rather be on mine.”
“All night, I’ve imagined how you’d taste, little thief.” Another lick and the flat of his thumb follows. “Imagined what this view would look like. How it’d feel to worship a deviant.” I shudder. “And?” Teeth nick my clit again, causing me to cry out. “Fucking divine.” As he finishes his sentence, his tongue spears inside me.
“There it is,” he grunts, speaking directly into my pussy. “Give it to me, m’eudail. I want to see how bewitching you are when you come.”
“Innocent lassies don’t come all over the face of a man they don’t know. They don’t strip bare in an alley and spread their delicious thighs, and they certainly don’t ask the monster to fuck them.”
“And what would you have done if I came inside you? If I pumped your sweet cunt full of my cum? So full that she’d leak for a week, and you’d have to walk around with the reminder of how deliriously good I felt every damn day.”
“You’re right, mate. She’s more than just an assistant, so if I hear you proposition her for sex again, I’ll have you fired and chased out of this fucking town. If she goes home with and rides anyone’s cock tonight—or any other night—it’ll be mine.”
“Do you dance, Ms. Astor?”
“There aren’t enough sorries to make up for my regrets when it comes to you,”
“In another life, I would’ve gone about all of this so differently.”
“I’d have courted you properly. Been a complete gentleman and taken you out for dinner, maybe dancing. I’d have learned your name, your birthday, the fact that you have a brother.” She goes to open her mouth, but I press my thumb over it, stopping her. “Shh, little thief. It’s okay. You have your secrets, and I have mine.”
Reaching out, she pinches a strand of my hair. “Well, that explains the piano and floor. And the wall in his office.” “The what?” I glance down at the ground, the crystalline polish glittering under my feet. “My son isn’t a very… colorful person. Well, he wasn’t, but recently he seems quite enamored with the hues of blue.”
I glance out past him at the massive hole in the yard. “What are you building?” “A pool.”
“God doesn’t get on his knees to worship,” I mutter against her, taking her clit between my teeth. “You’re in bed with the devil, m’eudail, and I don’t think he intends on letting you go.”
Pressing my lips together, I don’t reply because what am I supposed to tell her? That I’m completely enamored by her existence and there probably aren’t any lengths I wouldn’t go to, to make sure she’s comfortable?
“You’re building a pool.” I nod, threading my fingers through her hair. “Why?” Closing my eyes, I consider not answering this question either. Swimming has never appealed to me. The water leaves you vulnerable, which is why I’ve always simply avoided it. My lips are dry when they open again. “Because you said you like to swim.”
“There’s something alluring about a violent woman. Men, not so much because violence is our legacy. But being at the mercy of a woman craving blood? There’s nothing quite like it.”
“The point would be treating you.”
Aplana doesn’t have an animal shelter, so I thought she could start one. It’s not her dog, but it’s something, right?
He’s a murderer. Worse than that, a politician.
“I grew up away from family because of my mum’s work, but she always made a point to stop in Edinburgh every summer so we could see her parents. My granddad called my grandmother m’eudail, and I’ve yet to meet another man more in love with a bird than he was with her.” He pauses, dropping his hands to my hips. “It sort of just rolled off my tongue the night we met.”
Those who let fear rule their lives rarely live happy ones.
Most people find your flaws and think they need to fix them, but he sees mine and likes me anyway. Maybe that’s what you need for happiness to take root—not for someone to offer it on some silver platter, but for them to provide the soil and space for it to grow.
“You love him.”
“More than anything.”
But just because someone doesn’t love the same way as you doesn’t mean they love you any less.
“Your timing is terrible tonight.” He sighs, smoothing his thumbs beneath my eyes. “I know. I’m sorry. Probably also not a good time to tell you I love you, but, hey, why bloody wait?” “You love me?” I repeat, a tiny sliver of something sprouting in my chest. “Infinitely, and with every fiber of my being, Cora Astor. I’ve loved you since the second you walked into my life, and I’ll love you every second after, until I have no more to love you with.” I wince, then shake my head, twisting my fingers in his lapels. I’m still in shock, but I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. “I
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“You don’t play fair,” she says, and I grip her hips, pulling her tight against me. “Is that a yes?” She glances at the tree behind me, nodding her head and biting her bottom lip. I pluck it with my thumb, and she lets out a dramatic sigh. “It’s an absolutely.”
