Discipline Is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control (The Stoic Virtues Series)

by Ryan Holiday

What good is courage if not applied to justice? What good is wisdom if it doesn’t make us more modest?

Will we be selfish or selfless? Brave or afraid? Strong or weak? Wise or stupid? Will we cultivate a good habit or a bad one? Courage or cowardice? The bliss of ignorance or the challenge of a new idea? Stay the same . . . or grow? The easy way or the right way?

When we desire more than we need, we make ourselves vulnerable.

Hustle isn’t always about hurrying. It is about getting things done, properly.

In fact, we might say that progress and practice are synonyms.

She thinks about the work, el trabajo gustoso, as one writer put it—the pleasurable work—not what has come out the other side.

Welcome to temperance. It’s a balance of opposites, by definition.

sleep begets sleep—so, too, does discipline beget discipline.

In addiction circles, they use the acronym HALT—Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired—as a helpful warning rubric for the signs and triggers for a relapse. We have to be careful, we have to be in control, or we risk losing it all.

We treat it like a temple.

Discipline is how we free ourselves.

The Stoics said that this was a perfect metaphor for everything we do. “Remember to conduct yourself in life as if at a banquet,” Epictetus said. “As something being passed around comes to you, reach out your hand and take a moderate helping. Does it pass you by? Don’t stop it. It hasn’t yet come? Don’t burn in desire for it, but wait until it arrives in front of you. Act this way with children, a spouse, toward position, with wealth—one day it will make you worthy of a banquet

Discipline is not a punishment, it’s a way to avoid punishment. We do it because we love ourselves, we value ourselves and what we do. And we find, conveniently enough, that it also heightens our enjoyment of things as well. Indeed, the person content with less, who can enjoy a small pot of cheese as if it were a culinary bounty, is much more easily satisfied and much better able to find good in all situations.

Capture Bible verse

Seek yourself,

Seek God

mind

Spirit

Remember always: As wrong as they are, as annoying as it is, it takes two for a real conflict to happen. As the Stoics said, when we are offended, when we fight, we are complicit. We have chosen to engage. We have traded self-control for self-indulgence. We’ve allowed our cooler head to turn hot—even though we know hot heads rarely make good decisions.

Of all the bad habits to quit, passion is the hardest one. Because it happens in bursts.

Two ears, one mouth, Zeno would remind his students. Respect that ratio properly.

Revolution? Transformation? That’s what amateurs chase. The pros are after evolution.

Do you want to be rotting or ripening?

It takes discipline not to insist on doing everything yourself.

while a leader must know how to do anything, they cannot conceivably do everything.

The insecure are unable to do this. They fear being criticized.

Boundaries. And sadly, this kind of discipline is all too rare these days.

Speaking of Alcibiades, the once promising and committed student of Socrates, Plutarch illustrated the costs of intemperance not just to ourselves but also to the people who depend on us.

While we hold ourselves to the highest standards—and hope that our good behavior is contagious—we cannot expect everyone else to be like us. It’s not fair, nor is it possible.

This is the higher plane: When our self-discipline can be complemented by compassion, by kindness, understanding, love.