Discipline Is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control (The Stoic Virtues Series)

by Ryan Holiday

why are we so damn unhappy? Because we mistake liberty for license. Freedom, as Eisenhower famously said, is actually only the “opportunity for self-discipline.” Unless we’d rather be adrift, vulnerable, disordered, disconnected, we are responsible for ourselves. Technology, access, success, power, privilege—this is only a blessing when accompanied by the second of the cardinal virtues: self-restraint.

We must master ourselves unless we’d prefer to be mastered by someone or something else.

Temperance is not deprivation but command of oneself physically, mentally, spiritually—demanding the best of oneself, even when no one is looking, even when allowed less. It takes courage to live this way—not just because it’s hard, but because it sets you apart.

“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty,”

Under closer inspection: No one has a harder time than the lazy. No one experiences more pain than the glutton. No success is shorter lived than the reckless or endlessly ambitious. Failing to realize your full potential is a terrible punishment. Greed moves the goalposts, preventing one from ever enjoying what one has. Even if the outside world celebrates them, on the inside there is only misery, self-loathing, and dependence.

He also knew that those who live the fast or the easy life miss something too—they fail to fully realize their own potential. Discipline isn’t deprivation . . . it brings rewards.

“When a man can control his life, his physical needs, his lower self,” Muhammad Ali would later say, “he elevates himself.”

You have to do your best while you still have a chance. Life is short. You never know when the game, when your body, will be taken away from you. Don’t waste it!

Cherish the time. But most of all, use it.

The pleasure of excess is always fleeting. Which is why self-discipline is not a rejection of pleasure but a way to embrace it. Treating our body well, moderating our desires, working hard, exercising, hustling—this is not a punishment. This is simply the work for which pleasure is the reward.

You can choose the means, but the method is a must: You must be active. Get your daily win. Treat the body rigorously, as Seneca tells us, so that it may not be disobedient to the mind. Because as you’re building muscle, you’re also building willpower. More important, you’re building this willpower and strength while most people are not.

By being a little hard on ourselves, it makes it harder for others to be hard on us. By being strict with ourselves, we take away others’ power over us.

The less you desire, the richer you are, the freer you are, the more powerful you are. It’s that simple.

A person who puts up with needless friction will eventually be worn down.

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

If you’re not a person who hustles, who are you? Where does that leave the people counting on you?

We say “I’m not a morning person,” but that is almost certainly because we have been an irresponsible or undisciplined evening person.

Those who think that they can live a high spiritual life whose bodies are filled with idleness and luxuries are mistaken.

When we speak of temperance and self-discipline, we are referring to a person who has themselves under control. The body is the first step in that journey. We treat it rigorously. We restrain it. We dominate it. We treat it like a temple. Why? So it may not overrun and override the mind. So it may not deprive the mind.

No one who is a slave to their urges or to sloth, no one without strength or a good schedule, can create a great life. Certainly they will be too consumed with themselves to be of much good for anyone else. Those who tell themselves they are free to do anything will, inevitably, be chained to something.

Smart? Discipline is a far rarer commodity at the top than brilliance. Temperament may be less charismatic, but it survives. It stabilizes.

A weak mind must be constantly entertained and stimulated. A strong mind can occupy itself and, more important, be still and vigilant in moments that demand it.

We know that between every stimulus and its response, every piece of information and our decision, there is space. It is a brief space, to be sure, but one with room enough to insert our philosophy. Will we use it? Use it to think, use it to examine, use it to wait for more information? Or will we give into first impressions, to harmful instincts, and old patterns? The pause is everything.

“Anyone who has not groomed his life in general towards some definite end cannot possibly arrange his individual actions properly,” the writer Michel de Montaigne reminded himself. If you don’t know where you’re sailing, the Stoics said, no wind is favorable.

No one can achieve their main thing without the discipline to make it the main thing.

Epictetus reminds us that when you say, I’ll get serious about this tomorrow or, I’ll focus on it later, “what you’re really saying is, ‘Today I’ll be shameless, immature, and base; others will have the power to distress me.’

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”

We will need not just day-to-day patience, but long patience. Shackleton level patience. To put the book in a drawer while it gestates, to go to sleep and come back to it tomorrow, to let the compounding interest do its work, to let your investment appreciate, to let your plan take effect, to let people catch up to your idea that was ahead of its time . . . to be vindicated by events to come.

Just as days are made of mornings, lives are made of days. To procrastinate at any time, day or night, young or old, to push it until later, is a loser’s game.

The one thing all fools have in common, Seneca wrote, is that they’re always getting ready to live.

Seek yourself, not distraction. Be happy, not hedonistic. Let the mind rule, not the body. Conquer pleasure, make yourself superior to pain.

Woe is the person who wears themselves out on trivial matters and then, when the big moments come, is out of energy.

Why are you holding back? Why are you half-assing this? Why are you so afraid to try? Why don’t you think this matters? What could you be capable of if you really committed? If you’re not giving your best, why are you doing it at all?

As Marcus said, his aim was never to be the most powerful king, never to conquer the most territory, or build the most beautiful buildings. Instead, he was after “perfection of character: to live your last day, every day, without frenzy or sloth or pretense.” It just happens that wonderful external accomplishments, like those achieved by Elizabeth and Marcus, can come out of internal endeavor. They are not the goal, they are the byproduct.

Life is for the living. We are meant to be up and doing.