The Forgetting

by Hannah Beckerman

I close my eyes, try to understand what Stephen is saying, but it is like trying to grab hold of air. I cannot make sense of it, do not know what I am supposed to feel.

A crater opens up in my chest and I cannot tell whether it is emptying me of all feeling or spilling over with grief.

I feel as though I am a collection of unrelated fragments, like broken glass that cannot fit together because the shards all come from different sources.

‘My parents always warned me: be careful who you have kids with. Mortgages, joint bank accounts, marriages – you can extricate yourself from all of it. But have a child with someone and you’re linked to them for the rest of your life.’

‘Why are you the only one who can’t see how good Dominic is for me? Mum’s always said our relationship is like something out of a fairy tale. Why can’t you just be happy for me?’ Bea eyed her sadly. ‘Because that’s what bothers me. Fairy tales don’t actually exist.’

‘I hate to say this, but a man never hurts a woman only once. There’s always a second time.’