Always (Indigo Falls #1)

by Loren Leigh

But what I know and what I do are often two completely separate things.

Simkung. It’s Korean for that throb you get in your chest with some people.

I haven’t seen him smile in a long time. Why is that?

He’s like a monster under my bed. Roaring into my brain the second I try not to think about him.

“Jin?” The way he says my name jerks me back to the present. “Yeah.” I swallow and point toward the stairs. “I should, uh . . .” “And there it is.” His voice hardens a touch. I frown. “There what is?” “You avoiding me.” I stiffen. “I don’t.” “You do.” His eyes narrow. “Every time I enter a room, you’re out of it in less than five minutes. You’re ready to bolt right now.” Self-preservation.

It’s breath-catchingly gorgeous. And infinite. Some people say it makes them feel small, but looking up at a star-stacked sky like this, I’ve always felt part of something. Maybe that’s why I’ve inked it all over my body. Or maybe it’s simpler than that: I just like this shit. The possibilities of the night sky.

can’t think when he’s near. I’m like this spastic, brain-riddled kid with a . . . crush. A sudden coldness hits me at the core. That’s what this is. I have a fucking crush on my brother’s best friend.

I want him. Not just my stupidly reacting body, but my brain too.

“I don’t know,” he says quietly. “Maybe because truly caring about someone is never uncomplicated.”

“To me,” he says quietly, “it feels like I’m the most obvious person in the world. I leave you Post-its because I selfishly want you to think about me.”

“I followed you back here because I wanted to see how you are since I know you had a difficult night. And also, selfishly again, because I imagined shoving you up against the bookshelf and kissing the fuck out of you, even if I’m pretty sure that won’t ever happen. Even if I’ve imagined doing just that ever since that first time I saw you on the Quad.”

In other words: stop groping each other in the back of the library.

Am I dreaming? Is this a fantasy? Am I about to open my eyes and find that I’ve jizzed all over the bed?

Considering that I’m gripping onto a desk, a stack of Post-its in my mouth, first time with a dude, and getting sucked off in my TA’s office while he fondles my balls, I’m not sure I have any limits.

Kepler Quinn is holding my hand. That’s when I know it’s truly beyond fantasy. It’s really fucking real. At least for me.

“Never in my life did I think I’d be staying in a yurt tonight.” He squeezes my hand. “What about getting your cock sucked in one?”

“Because you once told me what the hangul meant.” I pause, trying to read everything I can on his face. “Treasure,” I say. “It means something like treasure.” He squeezes me tighter. “Exactly.”

What I want is to end this call, crawl back in bed with him, and see just how sore my ass can get.

“You fill up so much of me. And no matter what happens, no matter what the consequence, I’d make all the same choices again.”

So, ‘how long has it been going on?’ I’ll just distill it down to one word.” His eyes warm to a light gray. “Always.”

“You’re my universal constant. Something that will never change.” That genuine smile expands over his face, the one I’ll never get tired of. “I love you to the depth of my ability to love.”

“If you want to hear it simpler, then here it is: I love you too. Always.”