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she seemed to treat chaos as a form of common sense.
“But I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready,” I went on. “That’s how it is, right? Things just happen and then they’re happening.”
Why was I like this? And why were others not like this? Why didn’t they understand—and why could I not explain—that the gulping feeling wasn’t me swallowing something too big? It was something too big swallowing me.

