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He’d be relieved if he’d gotten away with it, too.
Took the side of the bed where the air from the vent tickles and the streetlight leaks in.
Let me go.
“You didn’t say that before. You’ve never said that.”
“I forgot.”
would’ve knelt and split it open, seen the passport, the dried umbilical cord, and all the rest.
“They were on your feet.” But they weren’t, actually. They were lined up on the trail, empty.
“Before they found my body, when I was only missing, did you hope they’d find me alive?” “Lou. Of course I did.”
“I’ll protect you if you did, you know. For you, Lou, I’ll fill out all the forms. But please oh please don’t make me fill out the forms.”
So you want me to tell you what I told the detectives, is that it? About seeing you that night?”
“What night?”
“Oh? No? I thought you were asking...
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“About a week before . . . well.”
“Right. I saw on the in/out logs that you were coming in after hours.”
“You did it once. Then twice. The third night I waited for you.”
“You said you needed to get out of the house.”
“Because of Silas?”
“Silas? No. You were coming in and sitting in your Room, that’s all. You were down. Having a hard time. I thi...
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“And you said you were being followed. By the killer.”
“I told you Edward Early was following me?”
“The week before my murder? I tol...
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No one wanted to talk about my murder; they couldn’t even say the words.
I was a fresh start.
“I don’t know. You were quite certain you were being followed by the serial killer who left the women’s shoes. You were worried you were going to be his next victim.”
“No, I mean me personally. I’m sorry. I should’ve believed you.”
“But then you weren’t a crazy lady, were you? No, you weren’t. You were right.”
“I did a bad thing,”
“I should never have brought you with me, to see Early. You were fine. Happy.”
“Because I should know what happened to me.”
“They gave us new lives.”
“Let’s live our new lives.”
To me, he was my father. But who was I to him?
I just wondered . . . when was the last time we talked? Before my murder, I mean?”
“The Saturday before,”
impoverish
“You know, the park. Our park.”
What would Fern be doing there after she’d told me to stop asking questions about my murder? “What was she doing?”
“Standing there.”
Saturday. The day we’d visited Edward Early.
“She kind of looked like she was waiting for someone,”
Every night since Edward Early had told us he hadn’t killed me, Fern had gone into the game and waited on the trail where I’d been murdered.
“You’re at the right door, then. The cat came with the apartment.”
She left in a rush.
Like I said, it was a rush. She left all her shit. Left her cat, too. But he’s okay.”
“No. Weird because she left instructions for feeding him and everything.”
“She said his name was Lou.”
It was, she told me, the kindest thing she could think of to do for him, to make herself into a person from one of his dreams, someone who disappeared come morning.
“We’ve had an intruder,”
“She heard a noise at the back of the house,”
“Right, Preeti?”
