I think, “If only I hadn’t dropped out of school, I’d know if that was Mars. If only I had a proper education, or in the absence of that, a dedication to learning that was more rigorous, more disciplined, I could have learned more about science rather than be so intimidated by it. I could have…” At some point in this self-flagellating monologue, I must soften my inner voice and let myself off the hook, because I fall asleep, Amy still nursing.
