Fair Catch

by Kandi Steiner

One pinky promise had shifted my priorities, had steered me in a new direction.

But Riley didn’t make that promise with the intention of just appeasing her brother. She made a promise she would die before breaking.

I didn’t care if she hated me. In fact, I was glad she did. It made it easier to keep my focus on protecting her and off the temptation to claim her for my own.

“Nice kick, Mighty Mouse.”

“Come on, Novo. You don’t have to pretend anymore. Just tell me you’re in love with me and have been since we were kids.”

Because she launched herself into my arms. I caught her in surprise, but that surprise was replaced by an unfamiliar wave of heat once I realized she was pressed against me. Her arms were still slick from practice where they wrapped around my neck, and mine slipped around her waist like they belonged there. She buried her head in my neck, squeezing tight, and the scent of her shampoo rushed over me.

“You are not stupid,” he said, his eyes connected with mine. “You are special.”

As I did, I took full advantage of the moment, making the descent slow and holding her hips firmly in my hands as her body dragged down the length of mine. She was warm and shaky as I held her, her hands fixed on my shoulders and her eyes skating to mine as I gently sat her feet back on the ground.

“You did get under my skin. Not just tonight, but every time you make comments like that.”

I wanted to tell her how much she infuriated me, how all I wanted was to smash whatever bullshit was still simmering between us from something that happened years ago and be friends. I wanted her to know how much I stuck up for her when she wasn’t around, wanted her to realize that I was her friend whether she wanted me to be or not.

I thought I was going to regret it, making a deal with the devil that was Zeke Collins.

I nodded, and so did he, then his hand slid over my knee, just a fraction of an inch higher, and squeezed as his eyes found mine. Two seconds. Maybe only one.

But my gut was sour the whole time, because as much as I was happy we’d won, I was devastated that I wasn’t a part of it.

There was so much in his gaze… too much. It set fire to my belly, the raw protectiveness rolling off him in plumes.

I’d never come so close to murdering someone in my entire life than when I saw Kyle shove Riley to the ground.

I’d never felt my heart beat like that before, never felt that… possessive.

honey-green eyes,

“When did you realize you wanted her?” I released a long breath from my chest. “Honestly? I think I’ve always known. Somewhere deep down, maybe ever since we were freshmen in high school.

All I knew was that I had to try. I had to see her. I had to test the waters and see if she felt what I felt, too.

But before I could finish the sentence, Zeke rushed me in equal measure, closing the distance between us. Shock washed over me like an earthquake, sudden and unexpected, and the words died on my lips as I watched him descend on me. His heavy footsteps echoed in the chambers of my heart. His hot breath silenced any attempt of me telling him to stop. His hands slipped into my hair, tugging tight and tilting my chin up. And then his mouth claimed mine in a kiss of thunder that beckoned the storm inside me to rage.

Without rhyme or reason or a single prayer that I could stop myself, I closed the space between us with three long strides, launching myself into his arms. And he caught me with another kiss that stole any argument left hanging on.

“Because I am scarred by the fire you started in me. Because you have reduced me to fucking ashes.”

“Because I ache for you,” he breathed against my lips next. “And I’ll end anyone who touches what’s mine.”

“Watch,” was all he commanded, and then he went to work.

This was a man touching me like my body was his, like he had a map detailing every sensitive spot that would make me come undone.

“You’re in control,” I told her, kissing her long and deep as I waited.

Zeke’s eyes snapped to mine then, and there was something dark in them, something I couldn’t identify.

All I could think about was how she was mine, whether she knew it or not.

I didn’t know what name we could put on us, but I knew I had to define it as something — otherwise, I’d have to check myself into a psychiatric hospital.

There was no way to avoid the cold, hard truth of it all. I was addicted.

And like any addict will tell you, it didn’t matter that I knew in the back of my mind that we were playing with fire. It didn’t matter that one day it all would have to end, that one day I’d have to go through withdrawals and peel myself off the floor.

My stomach surged with an ache so specific to Zeke that I wondered if I should make that its scientific name — The Zekes.

On days when practice kills you, or class overwhelms you, or things just start to pile up and you feel disconnected from who you are at the core…” He shrugged, putting the star back in the jar. “You can open a little burst of art to remind you.”

“I forgive you. I believe you.”

“We both know this won’t last forever.”

I didn’t want casual. I never did. And I had to tell her — even if it meant losing it all.

Everything about that kiss was new… different. I couldn’t name it, couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was, but I knew one thing for sure. He needed me.

“I want more.”

“I don’t want casual,” he continued. “I don’t want to pretend that I’m not yours in every way there is to belong to someone, that I don’t yearn for you to be mine in the same way. I don’t want to hide. I don’t want to keep having my heart fucking demolished at the thought of this all ending at any minute.”

My sister has been in love with you since we were kids, you idiot,”

“You hold mine. You own mine. For now, forever, regardless of what happens next. And even if you hate me for the rest of your life, I need you to know that I love you.”

But when you’re on the same team with the person who broke you, there is no such thing as true distance.

The masochistic part of me was thankful to have those stolen moments, to run into him in the weight room or kneel next to him in the team huddle. I longed for an accidental brush of our hands, or to look at him and catch him staring at me. I wanted to know he still wanted me, too.

“You can hold onto this forever. You can use it as an excuse to not give yourself what you really want, to deny yourself and Zeke happiness, to attest you’re doing the right thing by punishing him for his mistake. But that’s all it was, Sis. A mistake.”

“You can forgive. Forgive, and understand that we’re human. We’re not perfect. And one day when you make a mistake, you’ll want someone to afford you the same grace.”

“Give them hell, Mighty Mouse,”

Then, the whistle blew, and the game resumed. But my heart wasn’t on the field anymore. It was with the boy who’d just been walked off it.

“Somebody who betters you,” I started. “Somebody who inspires and encourages you in love and in life, who pushes you toward dreams and goals you’d otherwise ignore, who selflessly sacrifices their time to help you become a more courageous, well rounded and happy human being. That’s sacred,” I said, swallowing before I finished. “You hold on to a love like that.”

“But I can promise you that I will show up for you, every day, and work to be a better person for you. To be the person you see in me that I can’t just yet.”

“I love you,”