Fair Catch

by Kandi Steiner

“She hated me,” I argued. “After the accident, yes. But even then, you couldn’t see it? The way she looked at you? How she got all nervous and weird when the three of us were together?”

Just the thought made my fist tighten around the doorknob as I shut the door, and then I sank down into the couch, hating that it still smelled like her, that her long hairs were still in the sink because I couldn’t wash them away, that her hair tie was still around my wrist from when I’d pulled it out of her hair while fucking her against the wall. She was everywhere, inking herself into my skin like a tattoo. And maybe that was the hardest truth to face. Even if I did run, I’d never be able to run far enough to forget her.

“You are good, Zeke. Talented. Special.” He tapped the desk with his knuckles until I met his eyes. “But you could be great. You could be so much more than you even realize. You just have to show up.” He lifted his brows. “Understand, son?” “Yes, sir.”

“There’s nothing I can say, nothing I can do, to make any of this better. If I could go back in time and undo that day, I would — no matter what it cost me in the end. If I could go back and never even come into your or Gavin’s life at all, I’d do it. Even if it killed me, Riley, I would do it to spare you.”

“I don’t expect you to ever forgive me. And I don’t expect to ever have the chance to hold your heart in my hands again. But I need you to know this,” I said, stepping toward her. “You hold mine. You own mine. For now, forever, regardless of what happens next. And even if you hate me for the rest of your life, I need you to know that I love you.”

“And I believe in you,” I continued. “So… if I have to lose you, I’m prepared to do it. But I at least needed you to know that.”

“I know about you and Zeke.”

“I know it hurt you to see that happen to me, and trust me, it killed me, too,” he confessed. “But — look at me,” he said, smiling as he spread his hands out over himself. “I’m here. I’m alive. I’m happy. I’ve got a great girl, a great group of friends to play basketball with, and a great future ahead of me.” He paused. “And I know even if I wasn’t okay, I’d have Zeke. And that alone tells me I can make it through anything.”

“Or,” he countered. “You can forgive. Forgive, and understand that we’re human. We’re not perfect. And one day when you make a mistake, you’ll want someone to afford you the same grace.”

He loved me. He loved me, and I’d turned my back on him, judging and executing him at the first sign of him not being perfect. Because that’s what it had been before that day everything crashed down — perfect.

“One more promise,” he said, wiggling the digit. “That you will do whatever makes you happy from this moment on. Regardless of what you think you should do, or what you think other people think you should do.” He paused. “You’ve given a lot to the people you love. Let us return the favor.”

“Even if it would make me happy to try to play in the NFL?” Gavin’s brows shot up at that, a loud belly-laugh echoing through the room. “Especially then.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For helping you pull your head out of your ass?” he asked. “Anytime, Sis. Anytime.”

“Give them hell, Mighty Mouse,” he said, just loud enough for me to hear, but so soft I knew no one else did.

Come on, Zeke. Get up. Get up. The prayer repeated itself in my head, in my heart, in my soul as every player, coach, and fan alike held their breath and waited. Tears built in my eyes again, and I didn’t bother trying to stop them as they silently slipped over the apples of my cheeks. “I should have told him,” I whispered. “I… I should have…”

“He was just unconscious,” someone said, and I blinked, clearing the haze in my mind as I peered up and found Holden beside me. “He’s okay.” He’s okay, my heart echoed.

Then, the whistle blew, and the game resumed. But my heart wasn’t on the field anymore. It was with the boy who’d just been walked off it.

Gavin sat on the end of the row next to all of them, the wheels of his chair just visible in the aisle. His eyes caught mine, and he gave me a subtle nod, the twinkle in his eyes silently urging me. Go for it. I swallowed, reaching into the pocket of my NBU jacket, fingers curling around what waited there.

“Zeke, you shouldn’t be—” But her words faded when I pressed the little origami star into her hand. She frowned, opening her palm to survey it before peeking up at me through her helmet. “Open it,” I croaked, throat raw.

Her fingers trembled a bit as she did, unfolding my favorite picture of us. We weren’t dressed up or doing anything photo worthy. In fact, we both looked like bums, lounging in our sweats, hair a mess, lazy smiles on our faces as we laid together there on our old, sagging couch in the dorm room. But I knew it meant as much to her as it did to me when she smiled, eyes glossy as she looked up at me.

“Turn it over,” I said. She did, but before she could read, I recited the poem that I’d memorized now, repeating it word for word preparing for this very moment. “Somebody who betters you,” I started. “Somebody who inspires and encourages you in love and in life, who pushes you toward dreams and goals you’d otherwise ignore, who selflessly sacrifices their time to help you become a more courageous, well rounded an...

“Beau Taplin,” she whispered. I nodded, glancing at the clock and knowing I only had seconds now. “I’m so sorry. For everything. I’m sorry I hurt you, that I risked your scholarship and more in my haste, that I betrayed your trust. I can’t promise you I’ll never fuck up again, Riley. The odds are that I probably will.”

“But I can promise you that I will show up for you, every day, and work to be a better person for you. To be the person you see in me that I can’t just yet.”

“I love you,” I mouthed, careful not to say it in case anyone should overhear. But I said the next part out loud. “And I believe in you. You can do this.” I squeezed her hand before letting it go, but not before repeating, “You can do this.”

Her lips wavered as they spread into a smile, but she nodded, jogging back out just as the whistle blew. She lined up with where the ball would be thrown to the holder, taking her two signature steps back and to the left. Then, her eyes found mine. And even through the metal bars of her helmet, I saw the words come to life on her lips. I love you, too. The ball was snapped. She kicked. And I held my breath as I watched it sail.

He lifted and I wrapped, tearing my helmet off and throwing it on the field. His arms secured me to him, mine curved around his neck, and before that stupid boy could say a word, I kissed him.

“Congratulations, Mighty Mouse,” he said, his eyes hooded, smile easy. “You just won your first bowl game.”

“I think there’s something else even more worth celebrating,” I said. And then I gave up what little worry I had left about what people would think or say, and I kissed him again.

Riley blushed, sinking her face into my jersey before peering up at me. And I swore my whole fucking heart seized at the sight, making me wonder if the last five hours had been some sort of fever dream that I was bound to wake up from.

Coach nodded to the Defensive Coordinator, who threw him the game ball. “Every single one of you deserves this,” he said, holding it up high. “But I think we can all agree on who deserves it most.” Slowly, one by one, every pair of eyes turned to stare directly at Riley. She balked, cheeks blushing furiously as she tried to hide behind me, but I pushed her forward. “I have two sisters, Novo,” Coach said, his eyes right on her. “And a mom I’d go to war for. I know how hard it is to be a young woman, period. But to be the only young woman on a team of young men, to face the pressure and scrutiny that you have, and to have handled it with the poise you did?” He shook his head. “That took real guts. And real grit. And it’s been an honor to be your coach this season.”

“This game ball is yours,” he said, but then he addressed the rest of the team. “And we, team, are a family. I want you to look around right now, at every guy and girl in this room, and remember that. Fight to protect that. Always.” “If anyone messes with Novo, they’ll have all of us to answer to, Coach, I promise you that!” Leo hollered out, and all the guys roared their agreement, which only made Riley laugh and hide her blushing face again. Coach smirked, and then tossed the ball back to Clay, who passed it to Holden, who handed it right to Riley as we all clapped.

“You know just as well as I do that the media is going to have a frenzy with this, and that there might be some hell coming your way. You, especially, Riley,” he said. She nodded, meeting his gaze with a somber look for the first time since she’d kicked that winning field goal. “Your team will have your back,” he said without doubt. “As will I. But I hope your skin is tough, girl, because in this game, no one’s thinking about your feelings or how their words might impact you. Stay off social media if you can. Answer reporter questions carefully. You’ve both had training.” “Yes, sir,” I said for both of us, and Coach nodded, eyeing where Riley still clutched my arm. “And don’t break up,” he added, opening the door with a roll of his eyes. “Because I don’t want to have to fucking deal with it.”

“You heard that, right?” Riley asked, arching a brow as she wrapped her arms around my neck. Mine found their home at her waist, pulling her into me. “You’re not allowed to break up with me.” “I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around that we should be worried about,” I argued, tapping her nose. She smiled. “Well, the solution is simple.” “Is it, now?” She nodded. “Just don’t piss me off.” I barked out a laugh at that. “No promises there, Mighty Mouse.” “Fine. Then at least promise you won’t give up on me when I’m a stubborn fool, or when I try to push you away.” She swallowed. “Because I swear right now, in my right mind, that that’s the last thing I ever want.”

“Now, you’re my girlfriend.” He shook his head. “Poor thing.”

“Who cares? They’re sad, stupid people hiding behind their keyboards,” he said easily. “Let one of them try to say something to your face. They’ll have me to answer to.” “I can handle myself, you know,” I warned. “Oh, I know. But it doesn’t mean I don’t love having the honor of handling your light work.”

“I really missed you, Zeke,” I confessed on a whisper, one that made my body tremble. He frowned, letting out a long exhale before he dropped his forehead to mine. “I have no words for how miserable I’ve been without you.” “Can we agree never to do that again?” “I might make you sign in blood.”

“On the field,” he whispered. “Before the kick. I thought… I thought I saw you mouth—” “I love you?” I finished for him. “I did.” He let out a sigh that sounded almost painful, wincing and shaking his head as he dropped his forehead to mine. “I do, Zeke,” I whispered, holding him tight. “I love you.”

No matter what came our way, I knew one thing for sure. We’d fight it. Together. And just like tonight… We’d win.