Gotta Be Bayou (Badges of the Bayou, #1)

by Erin Nicholas

“Just because you didn’t have the childhood you wanted and should have had, doesn’t mean you can’t give a loving, amazing childhood to someone else, Max,” he said softly, tugging her closer. “That might make you even better at it. You could give someone the things you missed.”

“You also want someone who will take care of you—cook and bake, give you this sense of normalcy, and this place of comfort, and feeling of home—and the thing is, everyone wants that. But what you do isn’t abnormal. In fact, it’s pretty fucking heroic and brave and amazing and important and if you go home at the end of the day and shut it all off and hide from it, I’m afraid you’ll start believing it’s strange and bad.” She took a breath. “You can make your own comfort and home, Spencer. You’re striving for this ideal that is what someone else has told you is right. But home doesn’t have to look a certain way. It just has to be home for you and I think it means more when you make it your own.” She paused, pressed her lips together, but then said, “And, dammit, Spencer, if you want brownies, you should learn to make your own fucking brownies.”

Ellie pointed a finger at him. “It’s okay to need a hero once in a while, too, you know.” “What are you talkin’ about?” He smiled at her, but he felt a tightness in his gut. “You boys with the badges,” she said, casting a glance at the table behind him. There was affection in her gaze and a touch of exasperation. “Always wanting to be the heroes and not realizing that bein’ saved—havin’ someone see you and decide you’re worth it, and bein’ willin’ to jump in and pull you out of whatever it is that’s threatening you—is maybe the best damned thing that can happen to a person. Everyone should know what that’s like. Even those of you doin’ the savin’ most of the time.” Spencer had heard his cousins talk about how their grandmother’s advice and wisdom sometimes just came out of the blue and smacked them upside the head. The way her hand would do at times when they were growing up, and she needed them to listen and learn. But he’d never experienced it himself. He swallowed hard. “I will keep that in mind.” “Just take her hand, Spencer. Every time Max reaches out for you. Sometimes she might be reaching so you can pull her up. But sometimes, she’ll be reaching to pull you up. Both times you want to take her hand.”