Moth (Monstrous, #5)

by Lily Mayne

When I curled my fingers around his cock, Moth let out a shuddering breath against my mouth. “Okay?” I murmured, sliding my fist up and down slowly. He nodded, then let out a ragged gasp when my thumb stroked over the long slit on the underside of his cockhead. It was so slick, fluid pulsing from it in little bursts. My mouth watered as I wondered what he tasted like.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” I rasped before kissing him again as my hand burrowed back between our bodies to grasp his cock.

I kept returning to the head to slide my thumb up and down the slit because it made Moth’s thighs tremble and his hips flex.

I was already addicted to stroking his cock, but I didn’t want him to think I was ignoring the other parts of him that weren’t as human. I forced myself to let go, even though I wanted to keep stroking him, to trail my hand down and run my fingers over his slit. I groaned at the slippery heat of it even as I concentrated on his reaction, making sure I wasn’t pushing him too far.

“Can I use my mouth on you?” I sounded like I’d been eating gravel. My fingers were coated when I slid them back up his shaft. Moth’s breath shuddered out of him. “You—y-you want to?” “Fuck yes,” I groaned, moving to his other nipple and sucking feverishly.

I knew he’d never experienced any of this before. Being able to be the one who got to show him how good it could feel was driving me wild, making my free hand move frantically over his body—sliding down his scaly thigh, then back up over his hip to stroke his tight stomach.

His wetness covered my mouth and chin. All I could taste and smell and feel was him, and it was addictive.

When I reached the head, I wrapped my fingers around the slick base and squeezed, trailing my thumb down to brush over where it emerged from his slit. Moth let out a choked sound, his hips straining up. I glanced up to make sure he was still alright, my eyes growing heavy when I saw the intense pleasure tightening his beautiful features. I kissed the tip of his cock, holding his gaze as I licked over the slit that ran down the underside of his cockhead.

“Fuck, sorry,” he said shakily. I glanced up to see him covering his flushed face with a hand, the other leaving my hair to grip the sheets in a tight fist.

To reiterate my point, I brushed the cum on my chin away with my thumb and sucked it into my mouth. Moth’s eyes flared as he watched me, still breathing hard.

“You taste real good, Moth,” I murmured against his mouth, grinning when he sucked in a shaky breath.

I slid my fist down and off his cock to trail a finger over his slit. It was so wet, and when I dipped the tip of my finger inside, I moaned at how burning hot he was. I slid my finger deeper, groaning gutturally around his cock when he squeezed tight around it as he sucked in a breath. I could feel the root of his cock inside, and I slid the pad of my finger over it, mapping its length, until Moth choked out a hard groan and stiffened.

He let out a long, loud groan. I glanced up in time to see his head craning back, his chest heaving. And then he seemed to lose complete control.

One hand left my hair to reach up and splay over the headboard so he could push himself down, fucking himself on my finger.

The slick sound of my fingers inside him almost made me come, my cock bucking hungrily in the air. Shit, he was going wild, like he’d finally released all the years of pent-up need.

I slid my fingers out slowly and released his cock, but couldn’t stop myself from nuzzling down its length. I turned my head to kiss his trembling thigh as I glanced up at him. “You okay, baby?”

He sobbed again but turned toward me, so I quickly lay down beside him, being careful not to touch him. But then he buried his face in my chest and wrapped his arm around me tight, weeping uncontrollably against my skin. I tentatively ran my fingers through his hair, my chest aching. Kissing the top of his head, I kept my nose pressed there to breathe in his scent.

He’d finally let himself be vulnerable with someone for the first time in his life. He’d forced himself to push aside all his fears and insecurities about his body and let someone touch him. See him.

“You didn’t even get to…” My mouth quirked up. “So? It’s not a trade. Trust me, Moth, I loved it. You didn’t ruin anything.” I hesitated before asking, “Can I sit next to you? Or do you want to be left alone tonight?”

Moth let out a quiet breath and started eating again too. After a few minutes, I felt his free hand creep cautiously onto my leg beneath the table and his fingers threaded through mine. I swallowed, my chest aching, but I didn’t comment on it in case it embarrassed him. I squeezed his hand back, holding on tight as we finished eating in silence.

The realisation terrified me. I didn’t know what to do about it. He was in love with someone else, for fuck’s sake. We’d both gone into this with the understanding that it would be a casual thing—even though it didn’t feel all that casual.

“I know how difficult it must have been to let yourself be that vulnerable with me. I’m… It means a lot that you trust me enough. You’re really brave, Moth.”

I lifted my head and kissed him, sucking his lower lip into my mouth and swiping my tongue over his piercing. “I love every part of you,” I told him. “You’re perfect.”

His voice was muffled against my neck. “I just hate everyone.” He was silent for a moment, before he croaked, “I don’t hate you.” My throat closed up. I don’t hate you either. I like you, Moth. I want you. Do you want me back? For more than just sex? Are you still in love with Ghost?

“Fuck.” I dumped my gun and strode toward him, wrapping him tight in my arms as I buried my face in his neck. My eyes burned with a mixture of pure relief and fury at seeing that someone had hurt him.

“You’ll hate me if I tell you.” My brows furrowed. “No I won’t.” I slid off the bed to kneel between his legs, resting my forearms on his thighs to clasp his waist beneath his coat. “I won’t, Moth,” I said, staring up at him.

“You—” I swallowed, my voice trembling. “Did you live… in an orphanage in the city?” He shook his head, still not looking at me. My eyes burned. He’d lived on the streets as a tiny kid. No wonder he hated everyone—no wonder he was so closed off and prickly. He’d been fending for himself since he was just a little boy.

“I’d always known I was different—that there was something wrong with me—but I’d never understood why. I’d started suspecting when a few monsters I came across in the Wastes called me a half-breed, but the Herald… confirmed that I was half monster.”

God, poor Moth. He’d probably felt hopeful when he’d found his monster parent, until he realised what they were doing and that they didn’t want him anyway. He’d probably thought that he’d finally found his place in the world, only for them to ensure he never had anywhere or anyone. I wanted to kill them. Not even for running a damn cannibal cult. Just for what they’d done to Moth.

“Fuck,” I muttered, rubbing my face roughly. Moth’s long, tattooed fingers curled around my wrist and pulled my hand away. “It’s okay, Charlie.” He gave me a tiny smile.

I couldn’t stop myself from leaning up and cupping the uninjured side of his face, giving him a gentle kiss, uncaring of the blood smeared under his nose. “I want to help you.” “You can’t.” Another tiny, defeated smile.

Moth hesitated, then clasped my face and leaned down to kiss me. “It’s okay. And if it… If they summon me again, just wait for me. They’ll send me back. I’m not going to leave you out here. And if you—if you have to keep moving, I’ll find you. I promise.”

I took his hand and kissed the back of it, over the tattoos that his parent had covered him with to make him a pariah to his kind. The urge to kill them flared again, but I forced it back.

I slid my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest, breathing in his scent and hoping that we were both still alive in a week.

I tried to fuss over him, which he seemed to secretly enjoy, even as he rolled his eyes and told me he was fine.

Every time I thought about what he’d told me of his childhood, I wanted to gather him up in my arms and hold him close.

I found myself wanting to reach for his hand as we walked across the Wastes, but he always kept them stuffed in his pockets. I wanted to sit right next to him, our knees touching, when we stopped for the night and built a fire if it was safe. I wanted to kiss him every time he gave me a tiny smile or laughed huskily at something I said—which he was doing far more often.

Nothing else had happened between us. We went back to taking turns keeping watch when we stopped for the night, and it was far too cold to get naked when we were camping out in gas stations or houses with smashed-out windows or old superstores. And besides, I didn’t want Moth to discover his sexuality in crappy places like that. He deserved better.

When he glanced over at me, I grinned. After a second, he grinned back—a rare, wide smile that showed off even white teeth in the dark.

I’d been wanting to kiss him for days and days—ever since we left the house he’d vanished from. It was like we’d allowed ourselves to be closer while we were there—which made sense, considering what we’d done together—but the moment we set off, we went back to just being travelling companions and nothing more.

My hands found his thighs in the dark and slid up as we kissed. When they moved around to cup his ass, I felt the bulk of his tail under his pants. I already knew he kept it tucked in his pants to hide it, which was why he also religiously wore his coat to cover the outline of it. Moth had tensed up, so I quickly moved my hands to his hips and breathed, “Sorry,” against his mouth. He panted against my lips for a few seconds, before shaking his head resolutely. “No, it’s—I’m fine. You know I have it.” His hands covered mine and pushed them back onto his ass as he kissed me again, mouth moving anxiously against mine.

My cock was already a pulsing steel bar in my pants. I was so horny that part of me wanted to ask Moth if he would mind if I shoved my hand down my pants and made myself come while we did this. I could feel the heat from between his legs against my crotch.

“At least it wasn’t my head, right?” I tried to joke as I slowly pushed my arm back through my sodden shirt sleeve with his help. “Don’t say that,” he mumbled, gently tugging my coat back up and zipping it for me.

I let out a breath and briefly palmed the side of Moth’s neck with my good arm in thanks, then got my gun from my pack with a groan of pain.

“It might leave if we wait long enough. But you should—We need to get you somewhere to clean up the wound.” “I’ll be fine, baby.” The term of endearment slipped out without thought, but there were too many pressing things to worry about for me to get embarrassed by it. Neither of us commented on it before I added, “So we can’t outrun it?”

ugh baby will melt me every fucking time

He passed me my bag once I was up. But he didn’t follow. I stared down at him with a hard frown. “What are you doing?” “Stay up there.” He turned and walked toward the barn doors. “Moth,” I gritted out, already turning to come back down the ladder. “I said stay up there, Charlie,” he barked, no longer making sure to keep his voice quiet.

“Moth!” I shouted, shooting pointlessly at the monster yet again when it turned and started running for him. I went to climb down the ladder, but heard him shout, “Don’t fucking come down here, Charlie!”

I grinned back, slipping my uninjured arm under his coat to slide my hand up his back. “But maybe once we’re both clean and you don’t smell like monster guts.” He snorted and leaned in to kiss my cheek. “Princess.”

Moth slipped his arm around me and under my backpack as we left the barn, even though I didn’t need help walking. I smiled a little and said nothing.

Feeling unaccountably nervous, I stepped closer and threaded my gloved fingers through his, half expecting him to yank his hand back. But he didn’t. “Let’s keep going until we find somewhere safer.” He still looked worried, but he nodded and gripped my hand tighter. Neither of us let go as we started walking.