Moth (Monstrous, #5)

by Lily Mayne

Seemed like it wasn’t just Hunter chasing monster dick, then. Well—and Danny. I’d only met him briefly, but he had apparently decided on the most monstrous dick of monster dicks. The Soul Eater was… terrifying.

“Tiny horns,” Edin muttered in a conspiratorial tone to Hunter as we approached. He snorted. “So?” “Just saying.”

And they were aimed at Ghost with an embarrassingly obvious expression. Christ, his pupils had practically reshaped themselves into cartoon hearts. I suppressed my wince, glancing down at Ghost’s hand firmly tucked inside Aury’s. Tough break, dude.

“Hunter’s not an introvert,” I said cheerfully. “He’s just an unlikeable asshole.”

Everyone just fucking loved the new human in the camp. Edin’s surly human lover didn’t really speak to anyone or make an effort to ingratiate himself with the raiders, but the one with dark hair and grey eyes—Charlie—seemed to effortlessly draw attention and make people want to flock to him. With his big, stupid smile and smooth, low voice with a southern accent.

My face burned as Hunter and Edin fussed over me like I was their only child getting ready to go on his first school field trip.

He was irritatingly attractive. Even the back of him was. The wide shoulders and long legs. The sword. Why was the sword so hot? He should have looked like a douche.

Yeah, I was attracted to Moth, even though he was an asshole most of the time and in love with a raider. And I was pretty sure that he was attracted to me too, even just a little. I was also pretty sure that he hated it.

“You got me a scarf?” I let out a blissful sigh, my warm breath heating my cold chin and nose under the fabric. “Thanks, Moth.” He grunted, pale eyes flashing to me before he started walking again. “So you stop bitching about being cold.”

Try and think of him like you do Edin, my brain suggested, and I almost physically cringed at the idea. I couldn’t. Mainly because I definitely did not want to fuck Edin—I’d seen what he was packing beneath that kilt; there was no way in hell I’d ever let that baseball bat anywhere near me. But when I looked at Moth, I could never decide if I wanted to strangle him or start tearing off his clothes. He was infuriatingly attractive. His face was like a work of art—almost too perfect to be real. Definitely too perfect to be human. Didn’t stop me wanting to punch it, though.

I chuckled and threaded my fingers through his hair, damp from a recent shower. “Sorry I was so annoying.” “You weren’t.” His voice was muffled against my neck. “I just hate everyone.” He was silent for a moment, before he croaked, “I don’t hate you.”

He’d been starved of affection for so long—his whole life. I showered him with it to make up for the lack he’d experienced, and it was no hardship. I wanted to give him everything.

“See? Moth, when I look at you, I don’t sit there picking out things that could be perceived as flaws. Because they’re not flaws. They’re just a part of you. And I love every part of you. You’re beautiful.”

Charlie was unnervingly perceptive, which I was pretty sure was a big part of why I’d managed to bring myself to ever get naked with him and let him touch me in the first place. He never pushed me. He was so careful to respect my boundaries, which allowed me to lower them slowly, one at a time.

Gratitude welled inside me, making me lean forward in a rush to kiss him. God, I wanted him so much. I didn’t know why he wanted me back, and it felt pathetic to be grateful for it, but I was. I was so grateful for how he’d carefully edged me out of the thick, angry shell I’d built up around myself. I’d been convinced I’d be alone forever, never getting to experience any kind of intimacy like this.

And then he’d appeared, bluntly but gently telling me that he wanted me just as I was. Even after seeing the monstrous parts of me. He’d still wanted me.

When I thought about Charlie, my chest clenched up tight and fire heated my belly. The sensation was almost painful, especially because he wasn’t here walking beside me, annoying the shit out of me with his constant humming and talking and teasing.

At least I’d had him for a little while. At least I knew what it was like to want someone so fiercely it consumed me, and to be wanted back. At least I’d gotten to know someone truly decent, and kind, and compassionate—even if he could be an annoying shithead sometimes.

I knew logically that I’d met other nice humans—Ghost, Rig, Cat. Anchor, even though she was stern, and Lilac, despite how

weird and closed off he was. But… they weren’t like Charlie. No one e...

My throat bobbed, fingers twitching by my sides with the overwhelming urge to grab Moth and run in the other direction. To stay, just the two of us, out here where nothing could change.

Now that I knew what it actually felt like, I realised with perfect clarity that I hadn’t really been in love with him. I’d been obsessed with the idea of finding someone who accepted me. I’d latched onto him because he’d treated me no different to anyone else. Charlie, though… Thinking about Charlie made my chest get hot and tight and my stomach twist with pleasant nerves. Made me feel a little jittery, like I had to make sure I did everything in my power to keep him with me. He still irritated the shit out of me sometimes, and I was still getting used to his teasing and blunt way of speaking, but I just… wanted to be with him all the time. Even when he was annoying me. The moment I saw him, I wanted to kiss him or touch him in some way. I just wanted him next to me.

I knew I’d still want to be alone sometimes—I didn’t want to stay at the camp full time—but the difference was… I wanted to be alone with him. The intensity of my feelings was a little overwhelming. I’d never felt this strongly about anyone before. Like even when he was pissing me off, I wanted to grab his face and kiss him to shut him up. Was that normal? Was that how humans felt when they were in love? I had no idea.