Moth (Monstrous, #5)

by Lily Mayne

Try and think of him like you do Edin, my brain suggested, and I almost physically cringed at the idea. I couldn’t. Mainly because I definitely did not want to fuck Edin—I’d seen what he was packing beneath that kilt; there was no way in hell I’d ever let that baseball bat anywhere near me. But when I looked at Moth, I could never decide if I wanted to strangle him or start tearing off his clothes. He was infuriatingly attractive. His face was like a work of art—almost too perfect to be real. Definitely too perfect to be human. Didn’t stop me wanting to punch it, though.

“Will you… will you tell me if I’m doing it wrong?” I froze, then jerked back as I stared at him. He’d never kissed anyone before?

OH MOTH

“How long have you had it?” The question made me tense right up, all pleasurable feelings fleeing instantly as the painful memories rose. The hot needle piercing through my tongue and lips. The wire being roughly fed through the fresh wounds, cutting into them, forcing my tongue down and sewing my lips shut.

I need to hug this man IMMEDIATELY

“Charlie, please,” he choked out when I still hadn’t moved, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Just do it. And then—If you’re not interested, just… don’t say anything. We’ll pretend this didn’t happen.”

Oh my god moth

My throat ached painfully at the idea of him thinking I’d just get up and leave in silence while he lay here completely exposed to another person for the first time in his life.

Moth finally raised his head, biting his lip as he stared down at me with dazed eyes. My gut shrivelled up into a painful knot and my erection deflated instantly when I saw them go glassy. I sat up quickly when his chin trembled, and then I was scrambling up the bed as he let out a weak sob. “Fuck, Moth—” He covered his face with both hands and wept—hard, gut-wrenching sobs that made my own eyes water.

MOTHHHHHH AH MY GOD SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG AH MY GOD LILY MAYNE

“Jesus, I’m the worst… fuck buddy in existence.” His face was flushed and tear streaked as he looked down at his hands, back hunched like a shield.

MOTH 😭 😭 😭

I cleared my throat, toying with my food. “It’s always overwhelming, the first time you have sex with someone. There’s nothing wrong with having an emotional reaction to it.” “But I ruined it,” he said miserably. “You didn’t even get to…”

SOMEONE HELP MOTHER I FEEL SO BAD

“I know how difficult it must have been to let yourself be that vulnerable with me. I’m… It means a lot that you trust me enough. You’re really brave, Moth.”

IM SOBBING IM CRYING IM GONE BYE

When I burst into the bedroom, Moth was kneeling in the centre of the bed. His hair was dishevelled, and his left cheekbone was red and swelling, forcing his eye partially shut. He looked badly shaken, and as his wild, dazed eyes turned to me, he sniffed as blood trickled from his nose.

LILY MAYNE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

“But it’s not just—It’s really bad, Charlie,” he croaked. “They… they eat people.”

OH MY GOD THE HERALD IS MOTHS DAD. THATS WHY GLOAM KNOWS ABOUT IT AND WHY MOTH IS WARY OF GLOAM SPILLING HIS SECRETS

When I still refused, they locked me up for a while.” His voice was still wooden, but it shook a little when he continued. “When I kept screaming and shouting for them to let me out, they, uhh… they pierced my lips and tongue and sewed my mouth shut.”

I’m going to cry

he seemed withdrawn because of whatever his progenitor had ordered him to do. I wondered who they wanted him to find. Someone who had managed to escape the cult? But he’d said that they all had a mark that prevented them from leaving, even if they tried to cut it out.

ITS RIG. MOTH WAS TOLD TO FIND RIG

Monsters really weren’t as black and white as humans made them out to be.

“I can’t read.” His voice was small and ashamed, and my chest clenched tight as I stared at him, slowly setting the rest of my sandwich on its plastic wrapper. He kept his head bent, even as he carefully put down the paper and reached for his iced tea with slightly trembling fingers.

I’m gonna die

“It’s normal to be self-conscious about some things, but you shouldn’t be ashamed of them.” I squeezed his hands. “I still get bacne sometimes, despite being in my thirties. And I’ve got stretch marks on my ass from getting way too into squats when I first joined the military.”

Moth, when I look at you, I don’t sit there picking out things that could be perceived as flaws. Because they’re not flaws. They’re just a part of you. And I love every part of you. You’re beautiful.”

“You are the shame I am forced to carry, Malimoth.”

Having to take a shit in front of someone was the least of my worries right now. Any embarrassment over that had been burned out of me years ago, particularly after the time I got explosive diarrhoea while Hunter and I were out on a job in the Wastes. He’d found it hilarious, especially when I’d shakily called out for him to get me more leaves to clean up. I was so weak and dehydrated by the end that he’d even had to pull my pants back up for me. God, I missed that big bastard.

LMFAOAOAOOAOAOOOOOO

“You can’t hitch a fucking ride!” I finally managed to lift my arms enough and fumble for the creature. It let out another chirp and let me yank it off my back. I somehow managed to avoid its spikes, and I held it up in front of me by its armpits. It dangled there cheerfully, tail swishing through the air and bug eyes fixed on me. “No,” I told it firmly. “I already have enough stuff on my back. I can’t carry you.” I set it on the ground and pointed at a random spot in the distance. “Go.”

This is so cute

It started picking through the boxes of Christmas decorations, but returned to my side when it heard the rustle of the cracker packet. Huffing, I passed it one before stuffing another into my mouth.

THIS IS SO CUTE

A tiny part of me hated myself for naming the monkey creature. “Chuck, no.” I shook my leg, and she reluctantly slunk off. “You can’t hitch a ride on my leg.”

This is so freaking cute oh my god

“St-stay back, Chuck.” I shuffled back, my spine arching as flames licked down it. I panted, gritting my teeth, but forced myself to lift my head so I could get one last look at her. I’d never see her again—there was no way I’d ever be able to find her out here. Yet another thing the Herald was taking from me. “D-don’t go near humans,” I got out weakly as she hissed in fear and skittered closer to me. I jerked back, holding out a hand and barking, “No. Stay away, Chuck.”

I’m depressed

I’d never seen anyone go into that kind of killing rage before.

A clattering noise coming from a nearby abandoned truck made me stop dead.

Please tell me it’s the monkey

When a little bat-like face appeared, peeking out with buggy eyes darting about and long, pointed ears twitching, I froze with indecision.

YESSSSSSNSKEKLENF DMDKDEJEKEKENENEEISOSNDBWOZ

She chirped again and climbed up onto his back, tail whipping happily through the air as her long arms twined around his neck. My heart freaking melted.

ME TOO CHARLIE, ME TOO

“Ah.” Edin’s low, amused voice made my eyes jerk back to him, and he shot me a knowing smirk. “You and Moth fucked.”

“Even though you don’t feel the same, I…” God, I needed to shut the fuck up. “I think you’re perfect just as you are. You don’t need to change or hide any part of yourself for someone else, Moth.”

He swallowed again, but lifted his chin and stared at me with a determined expression, even as his voice wavered when he said, “I love you.”

“Wyn.” I recognised Danny’s voice. “Uh… what’s that?” “She’s friendly,” Moth blurted immediately. “She won’t hurt you.” “Really?” Danny sounded a little less freaked out, eagerness bleeding into his voice. “Aw, she’s kind of cute. Wyn—” “No,” he barked, then spun back and snarled at us, “Get that fucking thing out of our room.”

“Fucking camp,” I heard Wyn seethe before the door slammed behind us.

“It’s locked, right?” I climbed off him to go and check, undoing my pants on the way before turning the lock and putting the chain on for good measure, because I was just as reluctant as Moth for anyone to interrupt us. I was pretty sure there was a chance Edin would burst in here and ask how it was going. Maybe try and give us some pointers.

HAHAHAH

I tried very hard to contain my flinch when the Soul Eater appeared out of nowhere beside me and Charlie in the diner. My shoulders wanted to hunch up when his distorted voice curled around my ears. “Danny needs food.”

It hadn’t been long before he’d been riding my dick so enthusiastically that the bed squealed obnoxiously loud, which I knew for a fact the other monsters in the camp would be able to hear. That was confirmed when we finally emerged from our room and Edin gave us a huge, shit-eating grin with Chuck sitting on his shoulders, fiddling with his hair.