Moth (Monstrous, #5)

by Lily Mayne

I reached over and patted Hunter’s firm, flat stomach through his shirt. “Is that a gut I feel?” “What? Fuck off.” Hunter shoved my hand away and lifted his shirt to peer down at his stomach. “I don’t have a gut,” he snapped, but his voice had an edge of worry. Edin boomed out a big laugh. “Don’t worry, josdo.” He pulled Hunter into him with a thick arm around his neck. “I still love you, even with your gut.” “I don’t have a gut!”

“Have you… have you fucked in my room?” “No,” Hunter said immediately. “Come on, man, we wouldn’t do that.” “We have everywhere else though,” Edin said with an evil grin. I shook my head, looking away. “You’re animals.” “Even the bunker,” he added. “Alright, I get it,” I barked.

I saw the outline of a creature sitting on the camp wall. One with huge, black wings. I couldn’t see much more than that, but I could tell it was watching us. My stomach clenched when it slowly stood, and those wings stretched out wide for a moment before tucking back in against its body. “That camp will be a mass grave now, josdo,” Edin said in a low voice. Hunter quirked a brow. “What do you mean?” “I mean every human who lived in there will be dead.” Edin jerked his chin up toward the creature. “He will have killed them all, if he’s decided this place is his.”

Seemed like it wasn’t just Hunter chasing monster dick, then. Well—and Danny. I’d only met him briefly, but he had apparently decided on the most monstrous dick of monster dicks. The Soul Eater was… terrifying.

“Tiny horns,” Edin muttered in a conspiratorial tone to Hunter as we approached. He snorted. “So?” “Just saying.”

The winged monster’s head cocked. Gloam chuckled while Rig’s eyes creased with a grin. Machete guy didn’t react at all, just watching us silently. He was a little creepy.

We never had anything to do with the military’s specimen programme. I swear.” He gestured at Edin, his eyes hard. “It’s why we left. We could never have gone back after finding out what they did to you in there.” I wanted to shrink in on myself. I knew he was just saying it to make it clear that we wouldn’t fuck these raiders over, but his words made me feel an inch tall. Because I was going back. Despite knowing what they’d done to Edin. And the Soul Eater. And apparently, this gentle, winged monster too.

“Yes, well.” Edin grunted and lifted his chin imperiously. “Just remember who you said was the hottest thing you’d ever seen when I was riding your—” “Remember those boundaries we discussed, Edin?” I interrupted loudly. “Remember all those times—the many, many times—I told you I don’t particularly want to hear the details of your and Hunter’s sex life?” Unfortunately, my words did not shut the big purple guy up like I’d been hoping. They did the opposite.

Even though I’d never had any interest at all in fucking Hunter—and I knew that sentiment went both ways—having to listen to two, shall we say, robust people fucking loudly and vigorously almost every night for months had just reminded me of everything I was missing.

I’d taken to sitting outside in the yard for a while after they went to bed, to try and avoid the worst of it. But I’d miscalculated too many times and ended up quietly heading inside to finally sleep while they were still going at it. Working on the homestead was hard, and I could only force myself to stay awake for so long. Edin had some incredible stamina, I’d give him that.

And they were aimed at Ghost with an embarrassingly obvious expression. Christ, his pupils had practically reshaped themselves into cartoon hearts. I suppressed my wince, glancing down at Ghost’s hand firmly tucked inside Aury’s. Tough break, dude.

Did this guy think he was some modern-day conqueror or something? Where did he get a sword from? Now I’d seen it, I kind of wanted one.

“Don’t mind Lilac,” Rig said cheerfully. “He’s just, um… quiet.”

“Hunter’s not an introvert,” I said cheerfully. “He’s just an unlikeable asshole.”

Gloam, Rig and Ghost laughed too, and even Aury grinned. Like last time, it transformed his face from a picture of melancholy into something sweet and playful.

More so than Edin—but maybe that was just because I was used to Edin and had seen him countless times being a loud, rambunctious goof. Plus, I’d seen him naked. Hard to be intimated by someone you’ve seen naked. Although Edin’s… equipment was intimidating all on its own.

Everyone just fucking loved the new human in the camp. Edin’s surly human lover didn’t really speak to anyone or make an effort to ingratiate himself with the raiders, but the one with dark hair and grey eyes—Charlie—seemed to effortlessly draw attention and make people want to flock to him. With his big, stupid smile and smooth, low voice with a southern accent.

He was charming. My lip curled.

My face burned as Hunter and Edin fussed over me like I was their only child getting ready to go on his first school field trip.

He was irritatingly attractive. Even the back of him was. The wide shoulders and long legs. The sword. Why was the sword so hot? He should have looked like a douche.

I stared at the four people all thrashing on the ground, moaning in agony, blood pumping from their various severed appendages. Okay, so… the sword wasn’t just for show.

“Why does me not talking mean you have to hum the same fucking song for miles?” he snapped.

He rolled his eyes, nose wrinkling slightly. I tried not to stare at him. He was a moody asshole, but he was a fucking beautiful one.

“So where did you get the sword?” I chuckled. “I gotta admit, I’m kinda jealous.” “Stole it.” He sneered over at me. “Does that offend your law-abiding sensibilities, army boy?” I made a face. “What? I don’t care if you stole it. Jesus, you’re so fucking defensive about everything.”

I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down. I was good at it, having spent years dealing with Hunter’s hot temper.

Yeah, I was attracted to Moth, even though he was an asshole most of the time and in love with a raider. And I was pretty sure that he was attracted to me too, even just a little. I was also pretty sure that he hated it.

“You got me a scarf?” I let out a blissful sigh, my warm breath heating my cold chin and nose under the fabric. “Thanks, Moth.” He grunted, pale eyes flashing to me before he started walking again. “So you stop bitching about being cold.”

“Hunter travelled halfway across the Wastes to help me.” Moth huffed. “Well you must be a special little snowflake then.”

Try and think of him like you do Edin, my brain suggested, and I almost physically cringed at the idea. I couldn’t. Mainly because I definitely did not want to fuck Edin—I’d seen what he was packing beneath that kilt; there was no way in hell I’d ever let that baseball bat anywhere near me. But when I looked at Moth, I could never decide if I wanted to strangle him or start tearing off his clothes. He was infuriatingly attractive. His face was like a work of art—almost too perfect to be real. Definitely too perfect to be human. Didn’t stop me wanting to punch it, though.

And then there was machete guy. Lilac. He hadn’t trusted me one bit, and he’d been a creepy little fucker with his piercing green eyes and blank stare.

He was so beautiful. Way more beautiful than anyone else I’d ever seen—even Danny, the Soul Eater’s human partner, who was a total hottie and had for some reason decided that the creepy, ghoulish Wyn was the one deserving of all that male beauty. I’d been a little out of it when they’d gotten me out of the prison, but I’d still noticed how freaking hot he was.

“So you were just gonna kill that harmless thing.” I laid it on thick, shaking my head and giving Moth a disapproving look. He went pink, snapping, “No I wasn’t.” “You just said you’d kill it.” “That was before I knew it was a myrm!” “You just said you’d already told me it was. Which you hadn’t.” He glared, cheeks still flushed. “You’re so annoying.”

My throat ached painfully at the idea of him thinking I’d just get up and leave in silence while he lay here completely exposed to another person for the first time in his life.

I hesitated before asking, “Can I sit next to you? Or do you want to be left alone tonight?” “No, I’m—Yeah.” He swallowed, face still flushed. “That’s fine. You can.” That wasn’t the most coherent answer, but I slowly stood up and carried my bowl to the seat next to him.

“I don’t hate you.” My throat closed up. I don’t hate you either. I like you, Moth. I want you. Do you want me back? For more than just sex? Are you still in love with Ghost? The thoughts were painful, and I didn’t voice any of them.

“I’m sorry.” His voice shook, and I pulled back to gently clasp his face and assess his injuries. My jaw clenched hard. “Who hurt you?”

They call themself the Herald. And they… they’ve made all the humans become cannibals. They eat the people who don’t want to join.” Jesus. “Okay, that’s not… great,” I rasped,

“When I kept screaming and shouting for them to let me out, they, uhh… they pierced my lips and tongue and sewed my mouth shut.” Jesus fucking Christ.

I nearly choked on an incredulous breath. The fact that his parent hadn’t roasted him alive and fucking eaten him was not lucky. And the fact that he thought it was—that he saw that as a positive—was utterly heartbreaking.

And when the time came for us to part ways, I’d deal with it. I was a big boy. I could handle a little heartbreak. Although I already knew that it would be particularly painful.

I hoped Hunter and Edin weren’t too worried about me—mainly because Hunter would be an absolute fucking nightmare to the raiders if he was freaking out. Which he probably was.

We weren’t holding hands anymore, because we didn’t want to draw attention to ourselves. Some people were somehow still bigoted assholes despite, you know, a fucking monster apocalypse and all.

If you ask me to stay with you, I will. I stared at his bent head, wishing I was brave enough to say it. I’ll teach you to read. I’ll go back to your safehouse in the middle of nowhere with you.

It’s just casual, I tried to remind myself as Beth returned and I handed over the money for Pete’s drink. He’s in love with someone else.

Did he still love Ghost? Was this more than just fucking to him? That was all it was supposed to be, but it wasn’t to me anymore.

What if I said I wanted more with him and he had to let me down, and then we were still stuck out here together? God, that would be fucking awful. I was a roll-with-the-punches kind of guy, but I knew that particular punch would be a really shitty one.

Moth stirred, his arm tightening around me before I felt his nose rubbing against the back of my neck. But not in a sexy, nuzzling way—more like he was scratching an itch. He let out an irritated, half-asleep grunt, making me chuckle.

Also, I was pretty jealous of his total lack of a refractory period.

“Did you steal that guy’s sword, Moth?” I asked solemnly. His face flamed that unnatural pink hue. “I did tell you I stole it,” he hissed,

Visions of Charlie being impaled alive and hoisted over that burning pit of coals made my legs go weak. He was stubborn enough to choose death over joining the cult and eating human flesh. I knew he was.