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“Okay. So. Even though you don’t see it very often in real life, I absolutely believe in true love. I think it requires work and logic, as opposed to fate, but it’s there if you look hard enough.”
“Because happy is life’s default.” I pulled the straw from my cup, lifted it to my mouth, and moved my finger, letting the soda drip into my mouth. “Content is the baseline. Sometimes we’re not, and sometimes we’re freaking ecstatic, but happy is the default.”
“Existence is the default. Merely existing, emotionally, is the baseline. Happy is, like, this floating, fluid thing that’s impossible to hold on to. Elusive as fuck. Sometimes you get lucky and have it, but it’s only a matter of time before it slips back out of your hands.”
“Who shot you up with happy fairy dust is kind of the bigger question.”
“I just can’t believe bookish Emilie Hornby has a fake. A fake library card, maybe, but a fake driver’s license? Not so much.”
Looking at his face made me think of the almost-kiss, and I don’t know if my face changed or not, but his did.
It felt like there was an invisible string, pulling me in his direction. An invisible string that had an electrical current that actually felt stronger than the needle dragging through my skin.
AN INVISIBLE STRING TYING YOU TO MEEEEEEE OHHHHH
Nick was looking at me like that again.
I had a marvelous time ruining everything
SHE GOT A TATTOO QUOTING THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY?!?!??!??
“Well I’m glad. Nickie’s grown up too fast since the accident and he needs to have a little fun.” “Accident?” I glanced behind me to make sure Nick didn’t hear and think I was being nosy. “Nick was in an accident?” “Not Nick—Eric.” “Eric…?” “His brother. Today’s the anniversary?”
Keeps me warm and I get buzzed on your perfume.”
“Who are you, Nick Stark?”
Are you actually forty?”
Edward Cullen?
“I already saw the city from the forty-second floor. How different can this be?” “You have no idea.” I let him maneuver me, leading me around things until finally, he stopped. His breath was warm on my cheek as he leaned in close and said in a quiet voice, “Okay, Emmie—open your eyes.”
“He died last Valentine’s Day.” “Seriously?” He gave me a half-smile and said, “How’s that for a Hallmark holiday, right?”
“If Emilie Hornby wants you to show her your tattoo,” he said, casually pulling the back of his sweater over his head like he was changing alone in his room and it wasn’t freaking freezing outside in the middle of the city, “you show her.”
“For the love of God, Em, stop talking.” He stepped over to me, grinning, and put his hand over my mouth. “If you don’t shut up, I can’t tell you that I think it’s a great idea. Christ.”
I realized that Nick was incredible. He was fun and beautiful and I’d never felt more comfortable around a boy. Like, ever (except for Chris). Weird, right?
“And I’ve thought about it, and I really want my DONC to include kissing you, Em.” “You do?” My voice was embarrassingly breathy.
“I meant it when I said I forgot that he existed.”
I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED, IT ISNT LOVE, IT ISNT HATE ITS JUST INDIFFERENCE
His lips were warm, and he kissed me like he’d been dying to kiss me for the whole of his life. My fingers curled into the soft fabric of his jacket as he opened my mouth with his, making me a little dizzy while he wrapped his arms all the way around my waist and pulled me closer.
“Then, um, I have to confess that I think I’m obsessed with you. With this.” I swallowed and said, “With us.” A crease formed between his eyebrows. “Emilie.”
“I don’t think so. I’m going to cruise in Betty and you’re going to ride bitch.”
“I like knowing you, Emilie Hornby.”
“Same, Nick Stark. I had the best day with you today.”
“I love you, Nick Stark.” I blinked fast and was surprised by how emotional I felt. My throat was tight as I said, “It won’t count tomorrow and it’ll be like I never said it, but on this Valentine’s Day, I fell in love with you.”
“G’night to you, you little pain in the ass.” It wasn’t until I went inside and slid off my shoes that I realized I was still wearing Nick’s jacket.
Holy shit. It was February 15.
Then I glanced down at my arm. Oh no. No, no, no. I pulled back the bandage and gasped. I had a marvelous time ruining everything Dear God, I had a tattoo. That said that. “Oh my God.” I looked into the mirror and stared at my own face. What have I done?
“It’s a bizarre thing for a parent to have to do, but I think you’d be happy in solitary confinement if you had a book to read.”
“Like he was starving and you were the only thing that could nourish him?” His mouth dropped open and he squealed. “It sounds like something out of Twilight, but you nailed it—that’s it exactly!”
Apparently my closed-door plan worked—incredibly well—because I stress-ate Cheetos and watched reruns of Gilmore Girls until I fell sound asleep in my clothes.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened with Stark on Valentine’s Day?”
“Hurt?” I looked him square in the eyes. It felt like my heart skipped a beat when I said, “You are the last person who could protect me from that.” He swallowed. “That’s not fair.”
“But he’s actually a nice guy who is wracked with regret for being a jerk to someone he truly cares about.” The guy glanced up at the window and— It was Nick. “He had a perfect day with the perfect girl,” Rox said, “but his cynical heart refused to believe it could last, so he pushed her away.” I looked at Rox and could barely find my voice to say, “What are you doing?” “It wasn’t until he cleaned out his truck and could still smell her perfume on his brother’s jacket,” Trey said, “that he was almost suffocated by how much he missed her.” “What is this?” I sniffled and blinked fast as Nick
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The purple unicorn cake with the sparkly frosting. The one I’d wanted on my ninth birthday. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I lifted it all the way out and set it on the table. The shiny golden horn, the glittery unicorn, the sparkly purple frosting. It said Happy Birthday, Em, the way I’d desperately wanted it to when I was in the fourth grade. But… Nick had never seen the cake before. “How on earth did you do this, Nick?”
Nick went over to my grandma’s just to see if she knew about the cake?
“I remember everything about you, Em.” The crack in his voice brought my eyes back to his face. “I do.” His voice was raspy when he said, “I remember the ‘Thong Song,’ the breathy sound of your voice after I kiss you, and the way you kissed my nose when you thought I was sad.”
“I fell in love with you on Valentine’s Day, Emilie, but I need more than just seven minutes.”
“Yes, Emilie Hornby, I’m here to tell you that I’m a little obsessed with you. With this.” He raised his hands and cupped my face. “With us.” His eyes crinkled at the corners and his mouth slid into the full-on smile that made me weak in the knees. “Don’t get all clingy on me now, Stark,” I said, but the “k” sound got cut off when his mouth covered mine. Electricity and liquid warmth drizzled through my body as Nick kissed me like only Nick could.
I looked down at the army-green coat. Now that I was thinking about it, I’d worn it on the very first Valentine’s Day. The one that’d started it all. Valentine’s Day. The anniversary of his brother’s death. But I never fell asleep in it—until the DONC. The last Valentine’s Day.
I was absolutely Nick Stark’s kind of creeper. I glanced down at my arm and smiled. I couldn’t see the tattoo through the sweater and jacket, but I could almost feel it buzzing. Its words were like an electrical current burned into my skin. Everything in my life had changed, but I had zero regrets. I had a marvelous time ruining everything
the book ending in the Taylor Swift quoteee
1. Lover (Remix) [feat. Shawn Mendes] | Taylor Swift, Shawn Mendes
3. coney island (feat. The National) | Taylor Swift, The National 4. New Romantics | Taylor Swift 5. betty | Taylor Swift
7. …Ready For It? | Taylor Swift
12. the last great american dynasty | Taylor Swift
21. gold rush | Taylor Swift 22. Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran) (Taylor’s Version) | Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran
24. The Joker And The Queen (feat. Taylor Swift) | Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift
