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And he has a way of charming just about anybody if he wants to. I think a good part of that is just the way Wyatt is, but I can’t help but wonder how much of it is a defense mechanism because there’s so much he has to hide.
My mind is stuck on my friend. On the fact that he shouldn’t have to measure each of his interactions just to make sure his secret stays safe. Why couldn’t things be easier?
Sure, I’ll get looks and be talked about even more than before and likely even take some hostility from more than a few folk who’ll disagree with me as a person because of something I have no control over. At this point in my life, I can handle that. I’ve even been preparing for it. What I can’t deal with, day in and day out, is watching Easton love somebody else and make a life with them.
“I would always choose him. Over and over again, no matter how it ends. In any world where there’s a Wyatt and an Easton, that Wyatt would find his Easton and fall in love. And maybe that’s just my story, to be the brokenhearted. Maybe I’m okay with that.”
Gawd 😢
“How long are you stayin’?” I ask, throat tight. Wyatt shrugs, like it isn’t a big deal, when we both know it is. “However long you need.” I swallow heavily, asking the question I was always afraid to voice aloud. “And what if I always need you?” “Then I’ll stay,” Wyatt says, gaze solid, and I know he’s speaking the truth.
Will is still napping in the crib, and I don’t move, so Wyatt joins me on the ground. The pair of us lie side by side, hip to hip, as we look up at the little neon stars dotting the ceiling of Will’s room. Becca put those there. Maybe, now, she’s one of them.
My fucking heart 💔😢
The thing is I never expected it to be easy. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be worth it.
“Can I hold you again?” I ask. I loved being snuggled up to him last night, feeling his body in my arms. “Any time you want,” he replies softly.
I can’t give us a different history, but I can give him now and forever.
“Thank you for lovin’ me,” I tell him again. “Easiest thing I ever did,” he replies, voice hoarse but true.
