Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

by Andy Borowitz

By his own account, Trump was an expert in an astounding number of fields. “I know more about courts than any human being on Earth,” he said in 2015; not wishing to be typecast as a judicial wonk, he added, six months later, “I know more about renewables than any human being on Earth.” It would be extraordinary, to say the least, for an expert in both courts and renewables to know a lot about the tax code, but, according to Trump, “I think nobody knows more about taxes than I do, maybe in the history of the world.” As for technology, look out, Elon Musk: “Technology—nobody knows more about technology than me.” As for Senator Cory Booker, look out, Senator Cory Booker: “I know more about Cory than he knows about himself.” Of Trump’s many claims to expertise, though, one might well be true: “Nobody knows debt better than me.”