Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

by Andy Borowitz

“My name is Ronald Reagan. What’s yours?” The boy replied, “I’m your son, Mike.”)

Traveling with Quayle, Molly Ivins wasn’t wowed. “I found him dumber than advertised,” she said. “If you put that man’s brain in a bumblebee, it would fly backwards.”

I don’t want a president who’s just like me. I’m pretty sure I’d suck at the job. I want a president to be better than I am: smarter, braver, calmer, and more patient. When