Lor (Monstrous, #7)

by Lily Mayne

There were still rumours to this day that one had survived whatever fate befell them that day. Travelling folk insisted on seeing a lone isdernuc wandering the lands, sometimes in the company of one of the telyths—the ghoulish creatures from a forgotten age.

This is a weird spaceship, I vacantly thought, but then two werewolves walked in, and I passed out.

could smell him. The tang of fear-sweat was there, but it wasn’t unpleasant. And underneath it was something warm and soft, something that made me want to draw his scent into my lungs and hold it there. It reminded me of lokl, a dessert that was always served in the colder months in Thinir, made of fruit stewed in aromatics and piled on top of a light doughy cake studded with chunks of candied salted meat.

“Your dad sounds like a total asswipe, man.”

You should really return the robe. It’s only polite. He probably didn’t mean for you to keep it.

His name was Juhgz. What an odd name—so unusual and exotic. I wondered if it held any special meaning in his world, in his language. Maybe it was a noble name, like mine.

“I, um, I brought the ice cream.” I felt hot and flustered, my ears twitching, so I turned to reach for the lokl to hide my reaction to the hug. “Oh, lovely. I brought the lokl.”

wild, if you’re in a committed relationship. Sow those committed oats, my man.”

I had tasted my own release before out of curiosity, and Jugs didn’t taste like I did, but there was the same underlying hint of salt.

“So are you,” I croaked, smoothing my thumbs over Lor’s sharp cheekbones. “You’re perfect, Lor.”

“Inside me. Give it to me, Jugs.” Oh my god, I deserved a freaking medal for lasting this long when I was fucking the hottest, most beautiful creature in the entire universe.

I

He was who I wanted to share my worries and successes and mundane stories with.

Once I let myself start crying, I couldn’t stop. I wept into my hands, trying to stay silent so Lyri and Jugs wouldn’t hear from the bedroom.

“Chins up, councillors. Or you’ll look rather guilty.”

“I love you,” he said tearfully. “I want you to be happy after this.” “I won’t be happy without you,” I sobbed. “I won’t be able to bear it.”

“You are everything to me. I won’t survive it, not as I am now. I won’t.” Releasing his hand, I splayed my trembling fingers over his chest. “My heart is in here now. Not with me. I will be empty without you.”

“But it’s okay,” he continued, determination edging into his unsteady voice. “Life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. But at least we had a little time together, right? At least… at least we managed to meet, against all the odds. I’d say we did pretty well.”

“I haven’t really achieved much, but making the decision to come back here, to meet you properly, is the thing I’m most proud of in my

life,” he told me quietly. “I love you, Lor. I don’t regret any of it. And that… that helps. It helps me accept what”—his breath shuddered out of him—“what’s going to happen. It was all worth it. I love you.”

“I love you, Jugs.”

“And we still have a bit more time,” he said as he pulled back, smoothing my hair from my damp face. “Let’s do something fun tomorrow. Well, as fun as it can get in this room.” He chuckled. “We’ll do whatever you want,” I whispered, twining our fingers together on the pillow between us and kissing his knuckles. “Anything. We will spend the whole day together.” He smiled back drowsily, eyes already slipping shut, face lined with exhaustion after his emotional onslaught. “Sounds nice.” The next morning, he didn’t wake up.

However, everyone knew that I had someone. Because a year after Jugs had gone into his deep sleep, I asked Lilimar to pierce my lip. To show the world that there was one person—a single person out there—who was mine, who I would never speak ill of, who would be the only one to ever feel the touch of my mouth.

I had asked the jeweller to make me a ring with a tiny blue jewel in it, the exact colour of Jugs’ eyes. I had picked it myself. I often spun it when deep in thought, pressing that tiny gem to my lower lip or against the inside of my mouth, remembering the feel of Jugs’ warm mouth against mine.

“Because it feels like I will die if I let myself feel anything.”

I was crying too hard to answer him, throat aching and snot dripping from my nose. I cried so hard I thought I was going to be sick, clinging to his hand and burying my trembling mouth against his palm.

“I have felt dead without you, and now I cannot stop… I’m sorry.”

“You’ve w-waited for me this whole time?” I whispered. I could see the grief, the misery—the loneliness—still tightening his features, making him look brittle and even more fragile than normal.

“I would wait my whole life for you,” he said quietly, trying to steady his voice even as tears continued to stream freely down his cheeks. He pressed his lips to my hand again. “I would wait forever for you, Jugs.”

But Lor had. Lor hadn’t given up, and he had spent the last thirty years just waiting, hoping I would wake up.

“I love you,” I sobbed, managing to heave my body to the side so I could bury myself against him. “Thank you. Thank you for waiting for me.”

Like he didn’t care that he had waited so long, that he would have waited even longer—forever—because it had all been worth it in the end.

“I have been so empty without you, Jugs. But you kept my heart safe in here.”

“You spoke to me?” He nodded. “Every day.”

“You mean more to me than anything else. I would do anything for you, Jugs.”

“This means that I will never want anyone else. My mouth will never touch another. I will never speak ill of you. Your name is the first thing I want to pass my lips every morning and the last thing I say every night.”

“I would have waited forever,”

“He said, ‘No, I’m not fucking interested in meeting the Moric. If I see him or any of his guards anywhere near Danny, I’ll rip their spines out. You think I give a shit about that vint just because his skin is blue?’” Seis paused and glanced up at us. “At that point I told him I would simply pass on the message that he had declined, but he kept going.” He cleared his throat. “‘The only reason we are here is because Danny wanted to see a city. Don’t try and talk to him, don’t go anywhere near him. Now fuck off, baregh, so I can get back to my human, and tell your fucking Moric to stay the fuck away from him.’”

“I’m happy with you,” I mumbled, squeezing his hand tighter. “I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you, Lor. I want us to be together forever.”

didn’t care if it wasn’t normal to be so besotted. I cherished every single moment I had with him, even the moments when we were simply existing within each other’s space, not doing anything of note. Perhaps I cherished those moments the most.