Lor (Monstrous, #7)

by Lily Mayne

I lay awake beside him most nights, petrified that if I slept, he would be gone by morning.

“She won’t. Not in time. I can feel it… I can feel something happening.” A tear rolled down his flushed cheek as his mouth trembled. “I’m scared, Lor.”

“When I’m gone, I don’t want you to blame yourself for this. It’s not your fault. P-please don’t—please don’t feel guilty. Please don’t—Just make sure you’re happy, okay? Enjoy your life. Don’t waste it.”

“I love you,” he said tearfully. “I want you to be happy after this.” “I won’t be happy without you,” I sobbed. “I won’t be able to bear it.” “Yes you will.”

“You are everything to me. I won’t survive it, not as I am now. I won’t.” Releasing his hand, I splayed my trembling fingers over his chest. “My heart is in here now. Not with me. I will be empty without you.”

“Even if I wasn’t sick, I’d only want to be here. With you. I just… I w-wish we’d had a bit more time.”

“Life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. But at least we had a little time together, right? At least… at least we managed to meet, against all the odds. I’d say we did pretty well.”

“I haven’t really achieved much, but making the decision to come back here, to meet you properly, is the thing I’m most proud of in my life,” he told me quietly.

love you, Lor. I don’t regret any of it. And that… that helps. It helps me accept what”—his breath shuddered out of him—“what’s going to happen. It was all worth it. I love you.”

“And we still have a bit more time,” he said as he pulled back, smoothing my hair from my damp face. “Let’s do something fun tomorrow. Well, as fun as it can get in this room.” He chuckled.

“We’ll do whatever you want,” I whispered, twining our fingers together on the pillow between us and kissing his knuckles. “Anything. We will spend the whole day together.” He smiled back drowsily, eyes already slipping shut, face lined with exhaustion after his emotional onslaught. “Sounds nice.” The next morning, he didn’t wake up.

At least… at least a part of me was in there with him. I hoped he remembered, wherever his mind now was—if it was even awake enough to think.

I hoped he knew how much he meant to me. How happy he had made me.

“Please.” Sinking to my knees, I clutched her hand, pressing my forehead to the back of it. It was something the Moric should never, ever do—the lowliest form of supplication. “Please don’t let him be taken from me. Please.”

I told him truths too. That I missed him so much I felt empty, carved out, a hollow shell with nothing left inside.

I miss you,” he choked out. “I miss you, Lor. Please. Just please step away for a few hours at least. Jugs will still be here when you come back this evening.” “No,” I rasped. “I can’t.”

However, everyone knew that I had someone. Because a year after Jugs had gone into his deep sleep, I asked Lilimar to pierce my lip. To show the world that there was one person—a single person out there—who was mine, who I would never speak ill of, who would be the only one to ever feel the touch of my mouth.

Eight years of slowly forgetting the exact sound of Jugs’ voice, his laugh, the feel of his skin, the press of him inside me.

It wasn’t even a particularly significant day. It was just the day that broke me.

couldn’t truly grieve, because he wasn’t dead. But I couldn’t let myself hope, because there was still no cure. I was stuck. Waiting. Waiting.

“You’ve w-waited for me this whole time?” I whispered. I could see the grief, the misery—the loneliness—still tightening his features, making him look brittle and even more fragile than normal.

“I would wait my whole life for you,” he said quietly, trying to steady his voice even as tears continued to stream freely down his cheeks. He pressed his lips to my hand again. “I would wait forever for you, Jugs.”

“I love you,” I sobbed, managing to heave my body to the side so I could bury myself against him. “Thank you. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“This means that I will never want anyone else. My mouth will never touch another. I will never speak ill of you. Your name is the first thing I want to pass my lips every morning and the last thing I say every night.”

“There is no one else for me, Jugs.”

When he had started snoring in the night, I’d had to clap a hand over my mouth to push back the tearful laugh that threatened to burst from me. I’d missed that sound so much.

I liked that human expression for the way I felt about him—how simply it summed up the overwhelming flood of emotions that teemed in my chest. How it said everything in so few words.

“But you’re perfect. And you’re mine. I could never want anyone else.”

The only reason we are here is because Danny wanted to see a city. Don’t try and talk to him, don’t go anywhere near him. Now fuck off, baregh, so I can get back to my human, and tell your fucking Moric to stay the fuck away from him.’”

“He seems… passionate,” I said cautiously. Seis chuckled, looking entirely unbothered. “Telyths are cantankerous old fuckers.”

And how much he loved getting fucked hard.

He was my person. The one I was always meant to be with, even though we were from different worlds.

I blinked, mouth opening and closing wordlessly before… “Uh.” It sounded like some… Like he was asking me to go on some epic fantasy quest with him. Unite with him… in battle? In… bed? My dick twitched at that idea, but I was pretty sure that wasn’t what he meant.

“I cherish you like nothing else, Jugs. I cherish every moment I have with you. I will do my best to make you happy. I will do anything for you.”

Lyri turned and tugged Cat’s chin down to give him a sound kiss. “I’ve gotten better at the kissing thing,” he muttered to me with a sly grin, snickering when I let out a choked gasp.