Lor (Monstrous, #7)

by Lily Mayne

“Remember the legends about the salyik chieftain’s strange mate? The unknown creature that appeared from nowhere? They had to have come from somewhere. Why not some… other world?”

Now, the isdernucs were gone, though it hadn’t been that final battle that had wiped them out. It had been years later, their numbers growing smaller and smaller in the forest they inhabited in the neighbouring fiefdom, until the last remaining tribe site of the isdernucs had been found rampaged and ripped apart, nothing more than rotting corpses left behind.

:(

There were still rumours to this day that one had survived whatever fate befell them that day. Travelling folk insisted on seeing a lone isdernuc wandering the lands, sometimes in the company of one of the telyths—the ghoulish creatures from a forgotten age.

It was wearing some kind of strange armour—small and brightly coloured, barely covering anything. I tensed, eyeing the luminous pink scrap on its hips, the loose white chest plate that kept its midriff bared. Was this… a fearsome warrior? Was its armour designed to show how little protection it needed from blades and other weapons? To make it stand out on a battlefield?

And its ears were tiny. Rounded at the top. I eyed them in alarm. Had someone maimed it? How cruel.

This is a weird spaceship, I vacantly thought, but then two werewolves walked in, and I passed out.

At least she had gotten to see Lyri shape his body into the man he had always been. She had immediately called for the royal healthkeeper when he finally told her, years after he had told me, his hand sweating in mine the night we had gone to her chamber for him to finally tell her that he was her son, not her daughter.

His name was Juhgz. What an odd name—so unusual and exotic. I wondered if it held any special meaning in his world, in his language. Maybe it was a noble name, like mine.

“The, erm, the ones on my hands…” I ran my thumb over the piercings on my other hand. “They’re royal. I got them when I became Moric. But there are others we get. When, erm, when a vint wishes to join with another in union, they pierce their lip to symbolise how they will never speak ill of their betrothed or touch another’s, erm… b-body with their mouth.”

I was reluctant to let go as he turned for the void, clinging on until the last second. He looked back at me one final time, giving me one more beautiful smile, before stepping forward and vanishing.

But I was already breathless with anticipation, imagining what I would say to Juhgz if I could speak to him properly and have him understand me.

I had to give up hope at some point. It was foolish to even care this much. I had met Juhgz twice, and he was… he was a strange creature! From another world! My interest in him should extend no further than curiosity over our differences, not this… this aching pressure in my chest. This desperate need to see him again. To hear his musical voice. To simply be near him. I had finally found someone who made my chest flutter with sweet, breathless anticipation, and he was a mysterious being from another world. He couldn’t be more unattainable if he tried—which he might have been doing. Perhaps he didn’t want to see me again. Perhaps I had scared him.

“So you… you don’t mind if I come back?” He gazed at me, gripping my hand tighter. I saw his throat bob. “I want you to come back.”

“It’s—It’s—Y-you do it with someone you… really like. A lot.” He hunched his shoulders. “R-roh-mahntik-li.” “Roh…” “Ohmygod,” Jugs mumbled, then repeated, “Romantically.” My breath caught in my throat. I stared at him, my heart beginning to pound hard and fast in my chest. “Romantically. You… you like me romantically?”

He glanced back at me, silver eyes flashing in the dim pink light from his lantern, making my breath catch. He looked… so inhuman, his deep blue skin gleaming, the jewelled piercings winking in his huge, pointed ears. But he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

“L-Lor,” Jugs panted against my mouth, hands clutching the back of my jacket, which suddenly felt even more stifling than normal. “You’re so beautiful,” I mumbled between kisses, my fingers burrowing under the loose hem of his short shirt to palm his chest. “I want to kiss you all over, Jugs.”

Lyri was right. I was smitten. Completely, utterly smitten.

“When will you come back?” I couldn’t help but ask. “Tomorrow?” Jugs pressed a kiss to my braids as his hand slid down my spine. “If you… if you want me to.” “I want you to,” I said immediately, squeezing my eyes shut and breathing him in. “Please don’t stop coming back.” Even as I said it, I worried that I was being too demanding, expecting too much from him.

“Jugs,” I mumbled. I could smell myself all over him, and something sharp and possessive flared in my chest. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t from here. He was mine. And if he wanted me in the same way, I was going to do everything in my power to keep him coming back again and again. I wasn’t going to let anyone stop us from being together, even if the void was discovered or a thousand other humans started pouring into the hyll.

I couldn’t force Jugs to stay here. I couldn’t force him to accept me and my body and my life and how different it all was to his. I couldn’t force him to keep coming back. I just had to pray that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

“So it is a sex thing.” My ears twitched madly. “N-not necessarily… sex. It is a way to show romantic affection. You… you press your mouths together.” Lyri was staring at me blankly. “Why?” “Because it feels very nice.” My tone was prim to mask my embarrassment. “And you also… rub your tongues together. Which also feels…”—I swallowed thickly—“very nice.” “Tongues?” That roused Lyri’s interest. He perked up in his seat, side-eyeing Gryf by the door, then called, “Gryf, show me your tongue.” My face flamed with heat, and I kept facing forward so I wouldn’t have to see my brother’s guard sticking his tongue out at him. Lyri grunted, rubbing a thumb over his lower lip with a thoughtful expression. “He does have a nice tongue.” “Lyri.” I shot him a weak glare. He didn’t even look at me, still staring off to the side. At Gryf. Then he scrambled out of his seat and strode toward the two baregh guards by the door. “Come on, Gryf.” I heard the door open. “Let’s go… discuss weaponry.”

“All your food and drink is stored in such brightly coloured vessels.” He smoothed out the empty chip packet carefully. “I will keep this. Soon I will have a glorious collection of otherworld artifacts.” My chest ached at how sweet he was. “You don’t have to keep it. It’s just trash.” He gasped. “It is not trash! It is from your world, and you gave it to me. Therefore it is precious.”

wish I didn’t need to keep you a secret,” he whispered, fine brows pinching with anguish. “I want to show you everything here. I want everyone to see how beautiful you are.” I flushed, resisting the urge to rub my nose or tug at my ear. “I’m… I’m not really beautiful. By human standards.” “Yes, you are,” Lor said vehemently, reaching up to touch my pierced lobe. “Your dainty ears and proud nose and full mouth. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Jugs.”

“You okay?” I asked worriedly, returning his high-five before dipping my head to kiss him when he tilted his chin up, hands settling over my chest. “I am very well, thank you.” He swallowed, but shot me a soft smile. “I just missed you.” God, he always made my heart go nuts when he said things like that. A lump forming in my throat, I kissed him again and croaked, “I missed you too.”

The idea of going a single day without seeing Jugs—without touching him or kissing him or hearing his wonderful voice, just being near him—was unthinkable.

“I missed you today,” he mumbled, squeezing me tighter. The lantern almost clattered to the floor as my fingers twitched with the urge to clutch him closer. To ask him to stay with me for longer this time—not just a night. To stay for days. Weeks. To never go back.

“I miss you every day,” I told him hoarsely, nuzzling the short golden hair above his ear. “Every hour you are not here.”

“I lo—I want you so much.” “I want you too,” I panted desperately. Something in my chest broke open, and words started pouring from me, and I was helpless to stop them. “I want you too, more than anything. I miss you every moment you are not here. I dream of you after you leave. I spend my days wishing you were beside me, wishing that I could have you here with me always.”

My hand drifted automatically up to my earlobe, fingers fiddling with Lor’s hoop. My eyes filled with tears again. I wanted to be with Lor. I wanted to curl up in bed with him and breathe in his scent and be with someone who… who loved me. We hadn’t said it, and maybe it was way too early, but… it felt like he loved me. I loved him.

“When I’m gone, I don’t want you to blame yourself for this. It’s not your fault. P-please don’t—please don’t feel guilty. Please don’t—Just make sure you’re happy, okay? Enjoy your life. Don’t waste it.”

“I love you,” he said tearfully. “I want you to be happy after this.” “I won’t be happy without you,” I sobbed. “I won’t be able to bear it.” “Yes you will.” His mouth tipped into a wobbly smile even as tears continued to stream down his cheeks. “You’ve survived worse than this. Much worse. I’m just… some weird dude from another world who fell into your big palace one day.” “No,” I choked, clutching his hand to press my mouth to his palm. “You are everything to me. I won’t survive it, not as I am now. I won’t.” Releasing his hand, I splayed my trembling fingers over his chest. “My heart is in here now. Not with me. I will be empty without you.”

“I haven’t really achieved much, but making the decision to come back here, to meet you properly, is the thing I’m most proud of in my life,” he told me quietly. “I love you, Lor. I don’t regret any of it. And that… that helps. It helps me accept what”—his breath shuddered out of him—“what’s going to happen. It was all worth it. I love you.”

“And we still have a bit more time,” he said as he pulled back, smoothing my hair from my damp face. “Let’s do something fun tomorrow. Well, as fun as it can get in this room.” He chuckled. “We’ll do whatever you want,” I whispered, twining our fingers together on the pillow between us and kissing his knuckles. “Anything. We will spend the whole day together.” He smiled back drowsily, eyes already slipping shut, face lined with exhaustion after his emotional onslaught. “Sounds nice.” The next morning, he didn’t wake up.

“Please.” Sinking to my knees, I clutched her hand, pressing my forehead to the back of it. It was something the Moric should never, ever do—the lowliest form of supplication. “Please don’t let him be taken from me. Please.” “I will do everything I can, Moric,” she said thickly, squeezing my shaking fingers.

However, everyone knew that I had someone. Because a year after Jugs had gone into his deep sleep, I asked Lilimar to pierce my lip. To show the world that there was one person—a single person out there—who was mine, who I would never speak ill of, who would be the only one to ever feel the touch of my mouth.

I had asked the jeweller to make me a ring with a tiny blue jewel in it, the exact colour of Jugs’ eyes. I had picked it myself. I often spun it when deep in thought, pressing that tiny gem to my lower lip or against the inside of my mouth, remembering the feel of Jugs’ warm mouth against mine.

I had continued to keep my hair in the style I’d hacked it into. It made me feel closer to him when I looked in the mirror. It was something we shared that no one else did, which was perhaps silly or f...

But as we all sat together in the formal dining room, sharing food and wine, it just made me miss Jugs even more. He would have enjoyed it. He would have laughed at Ciffir’s jokes. He would have liked Kimil’s brash, overbearing nature—similar to Lyri’s. He would have sat and talked and joked with Seis and Lyri and Iorn, and politely conversed with the reserved Talimuth. He should have been there with us, as my consort. My partner. The other half of me.

Eight years. I had one of my worst days. I refused to leave Jugs’ side. I told Seis to cancel my council meeting with just minutes to spare. I cried, and cried, telling Jugs how much I missed him, begging him to give me any sign that he could hear me—anything. A flicker of his eyes under his closed lids. A twitch of his fingers under the sheets. He remained as still as ever.

Eight years of feeling like half a person, of going through the motions, barely able to feel anything at all some days. Most days. Eight years of slowly forgetting the exact sound of Jugs’ voice, his laugh, the feel of his skin, the press of him inside me.

My mouth trembled as I stared down at the drawing of the fungus. It showed a cluster of long, thin fungi, almost like a dead creature’s fingers breaking through the ground in desperation. It felt too fitting. It had been ten years of nothing—no cure, not even a hint of one. It felt like Jugs’ final hope.

“J-J-Jugs,” I whispered, too terrified to touch him. He blinked rapidly, throat clicking as he swallowed. His blue eyes looked dark in the low light, and when they turned to me, I let out a pained sob. “Jugs,” I choked out again, my hand shaking wildly as I placed it on his chest. “Hi.” His voice was rough and hoarse, but his pink mouth curved up into a tiny smile as he raised a trembling hand. “High-five.” An ugly sound ripped from my throat before I began to weep. Instead of high-fiving him, I clasped his hand and brought it to my lips, kissing his palm over and over. “Jugs. Jugs.” “Please don’t cry,” he croaked, weak fingers curling to brush my cheek. “I’m okay, Lor. I feel okay.” I was crying too hard to answer him, throat aching and snot dripping from my nose. I cried so hard I thought I was going to be sick, clinging to his hand and burying my trembling mouth against his palm. “Lor, please don’t cry,” he repeated, chin wobbling at the sight of my desperate tears.

“You’ve w-waited for me this whole time?” I whispered. I could see the grief, the misery—the loneliness—still tightening his features, making him look brittle and even more fragile than normal. His long, elegant fingers were thinner and bonier than before. Even his hair looked flatter and messier, like he’d stopped bothering with it. Like he’d stopped bothering with much of anything. “I would wait my whole life for you,” he said quietly, trying to steady his voice even as tears continued to stream freely down his cheeks. He pressed his lips to my hand again. “I would wait forever for you, Jugs.”

“I love you,” I sobbed, managing to heave my body to the side so I could bury myself against him. “Thank you. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“I love you,” he whispered back, raising a trembling hand between us to press his fingertips against my bare chest. “I have been so empty without you, Jugs. But you kept my heart safe in here.”

“No.” I shifted closer, resting my forehead against his. “None of this is your fault. You did everything you could. L-look at the”—I swallowed hard—“Look at the lengths you’ve gone to keep me alive. No one’s ever cared about me as much as you do.” Lor’s breath hitched. “You mean more to me than anything else. I would do anything for you, Jugs.” Lifting our joined hands, he pressed my fingertips to his mouth—to the ring piercing his lower lip. “This means that I will never want anyone else. My mouth will never touch another. I will never speak ill of you. Your name is the first thing I want to pass my lips every morning and the last thing I say every night.” I swallowed thickly, gently touching the tiny blue gem on the ring. “You… you got this done even though you didn’t know if I would ever get better?” “If you’d never gotten better, I would still have spent the rest of my life by your side.” He kissed my fingertips. “There is no one else for me, Jugs.” “R-really?” My voice was small. No one had ever wanted me that much. Not even my own parents. “Even… even after all this time?” “I would have waited forever,” he told me.

Then movement at the edge of what Lor had told me was the poison plant garden had drawn my gaze, and I stared in utter shock when I saw a freaking human walking next to a tall, scary-looking dude in a hood with curling black horns.

“A very old creature,” Lor answered me, still staring at the pair as the telyth slipped a ring off his finger and slid it onto the human’s. Geez, it almost looked like… they were getting married or something.

“What are telyths like?” I asked, threading my fingers through his soft hair as he rested his cheek on my chest. He shrugged. “Just… very old.” I snorted. “Is that it?” “Well, I suppose… They are almost extinct. Remnants from a past age. They keep to themselves mostly, hiding in their nests away from civilisation. The one we saw, he has lived in the Barren Valley in my fiefdom for… eons.” “So how did he end up with a human, um, boyfriend?” “Well, the void appeared in the Barren Valley. Perhaps he got curious and went through it.” “And picked up a hot human boyfriend while he was there.” Lor lifted his head to give me an impish grin. “Is that really so different from what you did, Jugs?” I laughed, fiddling with the braid dangling in front of his ear. “I guess not. And my boyfriend is way hotter. The hottest.” Lor’s ears twitched as he shot me a shy smile. “But you said that human was handsome.” “Objectively, sure.” I grinned at him and slid my hands down his lean back to squeeze his ass. “But you’re perfect. And you’re mine. I could never want anyone else.”

“I love you,” I croaked, wanting him to have no doubt how I felt about him. “I want to be here with you. I want…” Inhaling a shaky breath, I took his hand and tangled our fingers together, resting them on his chest. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Lor’s mouth trembled. He shifted to sit up against the headboard and drew our linked hands to his mouth, kissing my knuckles. “I want that too. More than anything. But… but I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay here, Jugs. With me. I don’t want you to think you have… no other options. If you want to go back to your world, we will find a way. I will—We will smash through whatever the humans blocked the void with. I will order Iorn to send a thousand soldiers to accompany you, to keep you safe—” “Lor.” I shook my head, shifting to sit cross-legged beside him. “I don’t want that. I want to stay here with you.” “Are you sure?” he whispered, pressing his lips to my knuckles again and lowering his eyes. “I just want you to be happy, Jugs.”