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Although, to be fair, it was probably the podcast episodes that were making me so paranoid in the first place.
U nd me both
The label on the box clearly read Samuel Dennings, with an address two digits off mine. The Midnight Mover.
Omgggggg
Never in a million years would I read that book, and definitely not right now, when I only had time to read works I could lovingly format into MLA style.
FELT
Lately it felt like my entire life was one big AITA thread and the answer was always yes, it’s me, I’m the asshole.
“Sam teaches music at the elementary school down the road.
Awwwwww
“But okay,” I said grudgingly. “Maybe he does actually play that piano.”
Sam looked like he gave great hugs, and I’d wanted one so bad. Disgusting.
She was exposing her belly to us, but I still didn’t feel confident enough to assume that was an invitation to pet. For all I knew, she just wanted an even tan.
“I happen to know from Josue that Sam finds you very interesting, as well.”
Omg
“I appreciated the Kit Kats,” he said. “I was going to make some comment, about how backwards it was—me opening the door all dressed up and you there with a bag of candy.” I smiled. “You totally should’ve,” I said. “It was Halloween in reverse.”
“Thank you for making it for me. Nobody’s ever made me a pie before, even half a pie. It was really sweet.”
“Why don’t you come in for a slice?” he asked. “You can share a slice of yours later if it means that much to you to keep it even.”
Awwwwwww
“What if you found a job?” he asked. “Or met someone?”
Omggggggggg
I didn’t want to have a fling with my neighbor. Just like I didn’t want a cat, I didn’t want to be friends with Alison again, I didn’t want to stay here any longer than I had to. It was exhausting, not wanting things.
“It’s too easy,” I said, moving closer to him in the water. “What is?” “Making you blush . . .”
“It was the name patch that really did it. Wear those the next time you jump my battery and I can live out the sexy mechanic fantasy I didn’t even know I had.”
“Phoebe?” “Mmm?” “I’m trying to jump something else right now,” he said, “if that’s okay by you.”
“Where can I plug in?” “Other side,” Sam said. And of course, there was an open outlet in the same spot on the opposite wall. Some graduate-level critical thinking there. “See, dropping RHCP song titles even now,” I said. “You can’t help yourself.” “Can’t stop.”
“Is that who you’re gonna ask to marry?” Marcus asked, glancing over at me. I hadn’t even clocked that the kid was aware I was standing there, and I was startled to be drawn into the conversation. “We can do the dance again. This time I’ll do the count right, promise.” Sam turned his head to look at me. “Someday,” he said, his gaze still on mine.
too cute
“Honest,” he said, almost more to himself than to me. “You’re right, I haven’t been honest. I’m falling for you, Phoebe. I’ve wanted to tell you that a million times. But I always worried I’d scare you off—that we’d end up having a conversation a lot like this one, actually—and so I held back.
:(
Just be honest with me, Phoebe. How do you feel about me?” “Of course I care about you,” I said, the words coming out sounding stilted and false, even though I did mean them. “But I can’t be in love with you.”
I cant believe that shes ruining this shit again ugghhhhhh
“I just can’t,” I said. “I don’t have it in me. I’m sorry.” Sam gave a little laugh, a humorless sound. “Well, that was honest,” he said. “I have to admit, I didn’t see this coming.”
Literal self sabotage
“I don’t regret any of it,” Sam said. “Not the last few weeks, not today, not even saying someday to that kid if that’s what set this off. I don’t regret giving you my heart, Phoebe. I just wish you’d taken more care with it.”
Sam deserves the whole world
He grasped the guitar by the neck, hefting it in his hand. Then he set it gently back down on the floor, leaning it against the wall where it had been previously. My eyes felt hot and itchy as he stepped forward to envelop me in a hug.
:(
“I love you,” I said. The words weren’t nearly as hard to say as I’d thought they’d be, so I said them again. “I love you, Sam.
It’s just that I need you in my life. Which, by the way, is a sentence that would’ve literally shriveled my insides to even think about saying a few months ago. But now I feel like I’ll shrivel up if I don’t say it.
“Is it the same thing you said was the ultimate milestone of your graduate career? I’m sorry if I’m being dense, but you called it your second-biggest presentation of your life, so I’m a little confused.” “Well, yeah,” I said. “Because this is the most important presentation of my life. What I’m saying to you now. I’m sorry I didn’t make a PowerPoint.”
The shock of having his mouth against mine, the sheer relief of it, made me start to cry, which I tried to hide from him so he wouldn’t stop. But he pulled back, rubbing his thumb along my jaw. “Ah,” he said softly. “Please don’t cry. I love you, too, Phoebe. I always will.” I hiccuped a little. “I thought I’d fucked it all up.”
