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“Abuse? But she wasn’t—” And here, Remy took another pause. “It wasn’t—it’s not—” “How old were you when the affair started, Remy?”
But that was his excuse now, as a twenty-three-year-old who’d grown cynical over the years. Xiaodan was treating him like he was still the scared fifteen-year-old he’d been when the affair had started. And maybe that was the point. “Young,” he finally said. “Perhaps it was younger than I should have—”
“I thought you didn’t want me along,” Remy muttered. “I never said that I didn’t want you.” Remy stared at him, then looked away.
“You’re a cambion?” All the shit he got from Malekh over being one, and his fiancée was the dhampir? The cuntsack didn’t even look apologetic; he merely tilted his head and closed his eyes, listening to Xiaodan talk.
“I hope this doesn’t change anything?” Xiaodan asked anxiously. “Of course not. Don’t think anything else of it. I won’t.” He was lying through his goddamn teeth. It had changed everything between them. He had left quickly because he couldn’t stay. Not after she’d told Malekh that she had wanted him, too.
“The problem, Pendergast, is that neither Xiaodan nor I look at you as a child,” Malekh whispered; guttural, coldly furious, and, Remy realized, stunned, thick with desire. “I saw you. I could smell your lust from where we sat. She thought you might join us. She is feeling your rejection most keenly.”
“Xiaodan understands what passed between you and the duchess, how unsatisfying you found the relationship. Last night she was only thinking of the pleasure, her own desires. She feels guilty for propositioning you the way Lady Astonbury did. She does not want you to think of her in the same manner you think of the duchess.”
“I said you would be open to both our advances if we’d expressed our interest much more clearly.” He leaned in closer. “And Xiaodan is not awake at the moment to stop me.” Malekh didn’t despise him. Fuck.
“Fuck you,” Remy said. “Perhaps one day, Pendergast. Now, shut up and strike me.”
“You are an infuriating human who constantly tries my patience,” Malekh said, “but I’ve never pretended.”
“Zidan always had the better brains of the two of us, but he can be willfully obtuse in other matters. He’s used to people chasing him, you see. He’s at a loss when he realizes it’s he who needs to do the chasing. He always expresses it poorly. He did that when he was pursuing me.”
“I was afraid. You both fit so perfectly together. There’s nothing I could possibly add to that.”
I love her, Remy thought, surprised by the realization, insignificant amid everything else. Her and Malekh.
