Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

by Melody Beattie

the important idea is to feel them. That doesn’t mean we have to always be on guard for one feeling or the other. It doesn’t mean we have to devote an extraordinary amount of our lives to wallowing in emotional muck. In fact, dealing with our feelings means we can move out of the muck. It means if a feeling—emotional energy—comes our way, we feel it. We take a few moments, acknowledge the sensation, and move on to the next step. We don’t censor. We don’t block. We don’t run from. We don’t tell ourselves, “Don’t feel that. Something must be wrong with me.” We don’t pass judgment on ourselves for our feelings. We experience them. We allow the energy to pass through our bodies, and we accept it as being our emotional energy, our feeling. We say, “Okay.”