Dante's Demons (Demon Dawgs MC: San Diego #1)

by K.L. Barstow

While I’ve never had this intense of reaction towards a woman before, I know I need get control over her.

While I’ve never had this intense of reaction towards a woman before, I know I need get control over her. Missing word, need to insert ‘to’ after ‘I know I need’.

Look, I’m sorry about your having to kidnap the doctor. I’ll make sure she doesn’t cause you problems at the precinct.”

Look, I’m sorry about your having to kidnap the doctor. I’ll make sure she doesn’t cause you problems at the precinct.” Incorrect word choice or typo, need to change ‘your’ to ‘you’.

“He dumped Caitlin on our doorstop.

“He dumped Caitlin on our doorstop. Incorrect word choice or typo, need to change ‘doorstop’ to ‘doorstep’.

We don’t know the exact details of when or how he took her.”

“ … We don’t know the exact details of when or how he took her.” Incorrect punctuation, need to insert a comma after ‘details of when’.

I slam the gavel down, ending Church.

I slam the gavel down, ending Church. Inconsistent data, doesn’t use a gavel, so shouldn’t this be ‘mano’ instead?

We don’t know if he’s going to go after you or try to use you to get to her so he can finish her.”

“ … We don’t know if he’s going to go after you or try to use you to get to her so he can finish her.” Incorrect punctuation, need to insert commas before and after ‘or try to use you to get to her’.

Don’t rapists usually have a type or is that just on television?”

“ … Don’t rapists usually have a type or is that just on television?” Incorrect punctuation, need to insert a comma after ‘have a type’.

She isn’t one of your brothers or one of us bunnies.

She isn’t one of your brothers or one of us bunnies. Incorrect punctuation, need to insert a comma after ‘your brothers’.

“If she wakes up..” I start, but Scar interrupts me.

“If she wakes up..” I start, but Scar interrupts me. Incorrect punctuation, need to add another period after ‘wakes up’, as it should be three periods, not two.

“That isn’t criticism or a judgement. I promise. I know I argued for involving the police, but that it isn’t how I really feel.”

“That isn’t criticism or a judgement. I promise. I know I argued for involving the police, but that it isn’t how I really feel.” Extra inserted word, need to remove ‘it’ before ‘isn’t how I really feel’.

He could get off on a technicality or get early parole.

He could get off on a technicality or get early parole. Incorrect punctuation, need to insert a comma after ‘technicality’.

“We’re trying to figure out who is, so we can stop him.”

“We’re trying to figure out who is, so we can stop him.” Missing word, need to insert ‘he’ after ‘figure out who’.

He lowers his body until his arms trap me .

He lowers his body until his arms trap me . Incorrect punctuation, need to remove the extra inserted space before the period at the end of the sentence.

I exclaim, wrapping my arms around me as I walk to the windows to take it all in.

I exclaim, wrapping my arms around me as I walk to the windows to take it all in. Incorrect word choice, need to change ‘me’ to ‘my middle / stomach’.

His warmth wraps surrounds me, making me feel safe.

His warmth wraps surrounds me, making me feel safe. Extra inserted word, need to remove ‘wraps’.

Without warning, he lifts me and flips me so my knees are on each side of head.

Without warning, he lifts me and flips me so my knees are on each side of head. Missing word, need to insert ‘his’ after ‘are on each side of’.

Although you’re pretty old, most of the guys like them young and pert. ”

“ … Although you’re pretty old, most of the guys like them young and pert. ” Incorrect punctuation, need to remove the extra insert space between the period and ending quotation marks at the end of the sentence.

Now how about some of breakfast?”

“ … Now how about some of breakfast?” Extra inserted word, need to remove ‘of’.

I am at a loss as to why the argument isn’t being made that she take some time off because of her sister. Either her sister is missing, like she reported to the police, in which case she wouldn’t be working, or her sister was found ‘dead’, in which case she wouldn’t be working. Otherwise, how would they keep the perpetrator from knowing Caitlin is alive? Maybe the first few days could be disregarded, but eventually doesn’t she need to play her part?

You 're beautiful, passionate, intelligent and loyal.

You 're beautiful, passionate, intelligent and loyal. Incorrect punctuation, need to remove the extra inserted space in the middle of ‘You’re’.

He commands after he nudging off his boots.

He commands after he nudging off his boots. Incorrect word tense, need to change ‘nudging’ to ‘nudges’.

“I need to check on Grimm, but you can wait in here with Jack.”

“I need to check on Grimm, but you can wait in here with Jack.” Inconsistent data, need to organize and revise the events as appropriate to correct the timeline. Such as: the nurse prior to allowing Dante back to visit with Jack said that Grimm was in the ICU, but instead Dante goes back and finds Tally is just now ready to go in and treat him. In addition, Dante arrived at the hospital after Jack and Grimm had arrived and wasn’t allowed back for some time.

Whoever it was has declared war on my club, a war we would end..

Whoever it was has declared war on my club, a war we would end.. Two issues: — Incorrect word tense, need to change ‘would’ to ‘will’. — Incorrect punctuation, need to either remove one of the extra periods at the end of the sentence or add a third one to form a complete the ellipsis.

“Not that it is any business of yours..”

“Not that it is any business of yours..” Incorrect punctuation, need to remove the extra inserted period at the end of the sentence.

“You bitch, don’t you go spreading rumors or I’ll kill you.”

“You bitch, don’t you go spreading rumors or I’ll kill you.” Incorrect punctuation, need to insert a comma after ‘spreading rumors’.

She drops her eyes to the blanket but not before I see the tears forming..

She drops her eyes to the blanket but not before I see the tears forming.. Incorrect punctuation, need to remove the extra inserted period at the end of the sentence.

We own multiple business.

We own multiple business. Incorrect word tense, need to change ‘business’ to ‘businesses’.

“What happened?,” I whisper, glancing at Caitlin, who had gone pale.

“What happened?,” I whisper, glancing at Caitlin, who had gone pale. Incorrect punctuation, need to remove the comma after ‘happened?’.

She squeaks as I life her legs up over my shoulders.

She squeaks as I life her legs up over my shoulders. Incorrect word choice, need to change ‘life’ to ‘lift’.

“Tally..” He starts, his voice growly, which sends shivers through my body and my pulse rate speeding.

“Tally..” He starts, his voice growly, which sends shivers through my body and my pulse rate speeding. Incorrect punctuation, need to remove the extra inserted period after ‘Tally’ or insert another period to complete the ellipses.

“You bitch..” He starts, swallowing his words when I jerk my eyes back to him.

“You bitch..” He starts, swallowing his words when I jerk my eyes back to him. Incorrect punctuation, need to remove the extra inserted period after ‘You bitch’, or insert a period to complete the ellipses.

“I have Shied, Byte and Smoke looking for him.”

“I have Shied, Byte and Smoke looking for him.” Typo, need to change ‘Shied’ to ‘Shield’.

Breathing in her scent, I’m grateful for how perfectly she feels against me.

Breathing in her scent, I’m grateful for how perfectly she feels against me. Incorrect word choice, need to change ‘perfectly’ to ‘perfect’.

Chaos’s Crime, Book Two of Demon Dawgs San Diego, comes out February 2022.

Chaos’s Crime, Book Two of Demon Dawgs San Diego, comes out February 2022. While there is at least one accreditation that recognizes adding an ‘s to a word ending in an “s” to show possessiveness, it is more proper to only add a single quotation mark. Please note: — I will only highlight and document one time. — Highly recommend a proper search be completed and all the text updated for consistentency, as there may be sentences that have this utilized both ways.

Especially since have a witness who’s come foreward.

Especially since have a witness who’s come foreward. Missing word, need to insert ‘we’ after ‘Especially since’.