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“One day, some girl is gonna walk into your life and flip your whole world upside down and you’re not gonna know what the fuck to do with yourself except drop to your knees and beg her to never leave.”
“Captain of the Vancouver Vipers. And you can take that ‘sweetheart’ and stuff it up your ass.”
“Oh, Mr. Beckett. You are as naïve as you are pretty.” She gives my chest a patronizing pat. “The very last place I’m going is home with you.”
He jumps onto the bench, gloves pressed to the glass, grinning down at me. “You like that, Olivia?” he hollers. “That was for you!” By far the worst part, though? My crimson face all over the motherfucking jumbotron.
She’s left marks, but I don’t mind. I’ll let her carve her name into my skin if it gets me what I want, and what I want is her.
When you start giving pieces of yourself to people who only want to hold on to them until the next person comes along is when treading the water becomes dangerous.
And I guess that’s the thing: just because he’s got this sweet, goofy side doesn’t mean the playboy side doesn’t exist. You can be both, and you can have both. But if I’m going to have him, I don’t want both.
Then he shuts the door, hits me with two finger guns, and yells, “It’s a date!”
“If I find something like you and Dad had, the last thing I’ll do is let it get away from me.”
I may be slightly intoxicated, but I’m 100 percent positive Carter Beckett is a man I could fall in love with.
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Never, Ollie. I just want you to consider … consider giving me a shot. Consider me. That’s all I want, Ol. A chance with you.”
Fear is a funny, fickle thing. It’s there to protect you, to keep you from getting hurt, tells you to back up before it’s too late. But it weighs you down, keeping you from moving forward, like feet stuck in mud. And more often than not? You get hurt anyway. Sometimes, like today, you hurt the person you care about in the process too.
Olivia, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I know this year will be the best one yet, because I met you. Carter
Her wide eyes lock on mine, cheeks blazing, hand hanging there in midair, holding on to a … A goddamn Oreo. Woman’s my fucking soul mate.
“Oh, and Carter? You can’t fix your past, but if you want a different future, all you have to do is choose it.”
“Yes.” It’s strange what a simple three-letter word can do, one spoken with so much certainty, the weight that lifts with the epiphany that comes with it. Yes, I want to choose Olivia, over and over again. I want to work for it, for us. I want to be better, not only for her, but for myself too.
“That’s no way to live your life. You have a lot to offer someone, Carter, and while it’s important to be able to be happy on your own, having another person to amplify that happiness, to share it with along with all the other special moments, that’s what life’s all about. That’s where it really starts to get fun.”
“Hurting someone and getting hurt are risks you take in love.”
Oh look. The feminism has left my body.
“I’m all in, as long as it’s you I’m all in with.” My lips meet hers with a gentle, sweeping kiss, brushing her hair behind her ear when we part. “Are you still scared?” “Yes.” “What are you most afraid of?” “Falling,” she answers quietly and without hesitation. “I’ll catch you.” “Promise?” Bringing her to me, I sear her with a kiss that feels every bit like a future I never knew I wanted. “Promise.”
Hank’s fingers find my braid, twirling the end of it. He twists to Carter. “What color? Describe it to me.” Carter’s green eyes glitter as he drinks me in. “Dark brown, like rich, smooth coffee. The kind that wakes you the hell up, that you crave in the morning and all day long.”
“What if I fall in love with you?” “Then I’ll fall with you, too, Ollie girl.”
“It’s hard not to compare myself to someone like you,” I admit. “I know we’re on different playing fields, but everything you have is so beautiful, so incredible, and—” “Including you, Ollie. You’re so beautiful, so incredible, all of you. Don’t you get that everything else doesn’t compare? I’d trade it all in for you.”
“I’m so lucky to be the man who gets to keep you by his side, Ollie.” Burying his face in my neck, Carter makes a soft, happy noise. “Goodnight, pumpkin. Like you.”
“You wanna fight, get your self-doubt out, that’s fine. But you’re gonna do it with me, at my house, together.” His searing stare swings my way. “I refuse to let you push me away again.”
“Your tears are not a weakness, so stop trying to hide them. Don’t be sorry for showing me how you feel. Being vulnerable with each other is how we learn to be the best versions of ourselves as partners. When you show me the type of love you need, I learn how to give it to you.”
“You’re enough, Ollie. So enough you leave me overflowing. And I don’t think a good measure of confidence is whether you compare yourself to others. It’s only natural. I think it’s about showing each other what we mean to the other and being confident in what we have together. That’s where that feeling of enough comes from.”
“I can’t change my past, but if you give me the chance, I can change my future. But I need all of you, Ollie. Not half of you.” I watch the scrape of my thumb along her lower lip. “I know I flip your world upside down. You fucking demolish mine. Please, let me in. Let me see you. Let me have you. All of you.”
“If you want obsession, fierce appreciation, wild, unrestrained passion … If you want fucking magic, Ollie, then it’s me. Let it be me.” The soft brush of our lips sends a thrill down my spine. “Let’s be scared together.”
“I see the fire in your eyes and all I wanna do is fuel it. Light me up, set my soul on fire. I’m yours.”
“My mom always told me that these things don’t come easily, that you have to work for the love and the life you want. The hard parts are challenging, but we get through them, and everything else with you feels natural, and I … I want to work with you. I want to build a life we love.”
“You’re my favorite everything, Ollie.”
Somehow, I manage to snap a picture before I walk in there. And when I do, I sink to my knees behind the body I worship, the soul that lights mine on fire, the woman who possesses every single bit of my heart.
“I love you, Olivia. Thank you for loving me back.”
“I’m gonna love you the way you deserve to be loved every single day for the rest of your life and my life. I promise.”
Ollie Girl, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, lived my life a little too carelessly, in ways that people didn’t approve of. But I wouldn’t change a thing. Because I was waiting for you. Waiting for a love that would walk into my life and blow my whole world up. I want to celebrate every Valentine’s Day & birthday with you. Love, Carter
“You’re perfectly flawed, and I’m going to love you through all your faults, because you love me through mine.”
You’re fierce and loyal. You’re patient and kind and the most passionate person I know. You never give up, and you’re so proud of me all the time, and it helps me be proud of myself. I’m a more confident person than I was six months ago because of the love you show me.”
She helped me become a person I’m certain my dad would be proud of.
“Thank you.” “For what?” “For making me feel like everything is within my reach if I work hard enough. This is amazing. Everything I dreamed of as a kid. But it’s you who makes my world complete.” He touches his lips to mine. “I love you.”
It hasn’t always been perfect, but it’s always been worth it. We’ve grown so much together, learned what the other needed, so maybe we weren’t perfect, but the way she’s loved me has always been perfect. And that’s how I’ve always known.
Never in my life has somebody looked at me the way that man looks at me, like I’m the only thing he sees, like someone seeing in color for the first time.
“The way I love you is inexplicable. It’s so much more than just wanting to be with you but needing to more than anything. I need you, because without you, something will always be missing in this life, just out of reach. Because you make everything better, and everything makes sense. You’re all the best parts, the cozy snuggles, the quiet conversations while we’re lying in bed, the sleepy mornings. The way my whole body comes alive when I see you for the first time after coming home, the way your face lights up and you jump into my arms and hold me like you need me as much as I need you.”
“All I’m doing when I’m away from you is counting down the minutes until we can be together again. There is no other option for me than a life with you. I know it’s soon, but I don’t need time to tell me what I already know, that a forever with you can’t come soon enough. Be my forever. Officially, because forever is all you’ve ever been to me. So … marry me, Ollie girl. Say yes.”
