The Butcher's Masquerade (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #5)

by Matt Dinniman

Sir Ferdinand. Cat. Familiar of Queen Imogen of the High Elves. Level 100 Province Boss. It’s not easy to live amongst the high elves, especially when you’re not a high elf yourself. Over the centuries, countless adorable creatures have found themselves upon the laps of high elf royalty. It is a dangerous place to sit. Eventually, the elven kings and queens have tired of their pets. Or discovered them to be too intelligent. Too cunning. Too eager. And eventually, the kings and queens would order not just the execution of the pet, but of the entire species. It is the way of the high elves. Ferdinand owes his life to the fact that Queen Imogen is rather fond of him. She’s fond of him in the same way a surgeon is fond of their favorite scalpel or a mass murderer is fond of their favorite chainsaw. Like all cats, Ferdinand’s biggest weakness is the fact he is utterly convinced that whatever thought enters his chicken nugget-sized brain is not just the truth, but it is the obvious, unalienable truth and anyone who thinks anything otherwise is not just a fool, but an imbecile deserving of nothing less than utter contempt and mockery. He is prone to self-aggrandizing behavior. He doesn’t understand the concept of being told no. He doesn’t understand the concept of not being worshipped. It’s rumored he’s somehow even managed to sneak a small amount of magical control over the castle itself, slipping a few cat-sized hallways here and there where nobody else would notice. He never e...