The Butcher's Masquerade (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #5)

by Matt Dinniman

But just as my paralysis ended, I paused. I felt my chin drop. Holy shit. “Carl, Carl, what are they doing? What are they doing?” Mongo and Kiwi were not fighting. They were doing the opposite of fighting. “Uh,” I said, finally able to take a step back. My leg felt like it was asleep, but it let me move. I looked warily at the map. All of the other red dots had moved back, but not too far. “I think we need to give them some privacy.” “Carl, do something!” Donut exclaimed. “You! Dinosaur! Get off my baby!” Kiwi was face down, backside up, tail to the side with Mongo mounted behind her. Mongo made a throaty gurgling noise as he slammed into her over and over. “Oh, she’s getting him off all right,” I said. “That’s not funny, Carl. He’s too young! We haven’t even had the talk yet! She’s taking advantage of him! Mongo! Mongo!” “Donut, we gotta get out of here. She’s going to attack us as soon as they’re done. Mongo will be okay.” “Haven’t you ever watched Animal Planet, Carl? She’s going to eat his head! Mongo! Stop that this instant! Stop it now!” Mongo lifted his head into the air and howled joyfully as he continued to jackhammer into Kiwi like a drunken sailor on his first liberty at a foreign brothel. He lifted his wings and started flapping them up and down like he did when he was a little baby. His tail swished back and forth. “This is all your fault, Carl. Mongo! Come back! Come back to mommy!” She moved as if to jump toward them, and I grabbed onto her. “How is this my ...