River of Shadows (Underworld Gods, #1)

by Karina Halle

But that’s what people think when their loved ones die, isn’t it? They keep thinking it’s only temporary. That they’re gone, in the other room, maybe at work, or on vacation. That they’re just away and they’ll be back at some point. Maybe that’s how you get through death, by telling yourself your father will pick up the phone, and that if he doesn’t that he’ll call you back soon, and so in the back of your mind, at the back of your heart, you’re just waiting. Waiting for them to return and for life to go back to normal again. The idea that they’re never coming back is…it’s more than unbearable. It goes against everything you’ve ever known.

This. I wasn’t even expecting to read an accurate depiction of grief in a smut book, but here we are. And it simultaneously broke me and validated me at the same time. It’s the denial. The longing. The hopefulness that you’ll still see them in their kitchen or hear their voice on the other end of the phone. All of this.