Cupid Is A C♥nt (Holiday Hoemies #1)
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Read between February 17 - February 18, 2024
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For the ones who think that they are awkward. Puns are hilarious, it’s cute when you wheeze laugh and you should absolutely own theme sweaters for every holiday. You’re not awkward, you’re fucking awesome.
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I’ll never understand why men assume we want images of their penis. I want to ride it, maybe lick it, but not because it’s nice to look at.”
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“Was there something else you needed, sir?” I love her voice. And her face. And her beautiful fucking brain.  Yes, Val. There are many things I need.  I’d like to hear you call my best friend sir in the boardroom just to see if his eyes light up or if he has to adjust himself under the table. I need to convince you to go out with me. I need to convince myself that you wouldn’t look perfect on your knees right here, right now.  I wonder if she’d let me climb under the desk and hide between her legs for the next hour. Or two. I could clear my calendar. 
14%
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What can I do to get this girl to smile like that for me again? I’d sell my damn soul for it. This smile could move mountains. Baby Jesus would weep graciously. Damn it, Romeo. Get your shit together and stop acting like a love sick teenager.
19%
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Walking into the conference room, I’m met with every single wet dream I’ve ever had about workplace sexual escapades that couldn't come close to the sight in front of me.  Romeo. Hart. Beau.  Each of them stands to greet me with panty dropping smiles.  Speaking of panties, I’ll need new ones.
19%
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How does someone get lucky enough to end up with three bosses who look like they should be on the covers of romance novels? No idea.  Bodies? Rideable. Faces? Sittable. Dicks? I haven’t seen them, but I'm betting they are fuckable. And lickable.  What more could you ask for?
22%
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“You can handle it, Val.” Romeo’s smile is reassuring, but his words have me wondering what else he could let me handle. I bet he’d say those same words right before thrusting into me. They all have big dick energy for damn sure. Fuck, I think I need to get laid this weekend. My head is in the gutter.
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“Besides, you’ll have an entire team behind you.” Beau’s words are confident and kind. I’m nodding along in agreement before I can stop myself. His reassurance means a lot to me. If he tells me I could do something, I could absolutely conquer it. And if I couldn’t, he’d be right beside me to help. Then again, when he says team, I hear train. And now I’m thinking about my bosses running a train on me. Is that on everyone’s fantasy list or just mine? Only with them though. It’s the group dynamic the three of them have going on. Their teamwork makes my wet dreams work.
23%
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Standing up, I offer each of them a polite handshake. “Thank you. I’m nervous, but more than anything, I am very excited to take this on.” Could I take on all of you, too?  I practically run to my desk before I can start stripping off my clothes to lay on the table and demanding they ravish me.  I’m a bad bitch and I’ve got work to do.
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“That’s fucking gross, Valley girl. You know the only time someone can spit in my face is if they have a hand around my neck. Rude.” 
37%
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“And I show up to not one blind date, but three. All of whom are my fucking bosses. Cupid is an absolute dirty fucking cunt.”
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Romeo scoots closer to me and places his hand on my knee. “I’m glad you thought about your safety, love.” That endearment is sweet to my ears but seems to feel very slippery as it works its way down to my panties.
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“You rolled your eyes at me, twice. It drove me mad. You’re lucky I didn’t put you over my knee right then and there.”  I’m taking a risk, being so blatant with my desires. Val looks me in the eyes, studying me, and I do the same to her.  Then I watch as the corner of her mouth twitches before settling into a pout. “Did I earn myself a punishment, sir?” Fuck. Damn. Holy shit. All the blood in my body goes south. My darling likes to play the brat.
66%
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“This for me, Val? Did you get wet thinking about your punishment? Or by the thought of someone catching us?” When she doesn’t answer me right away, I grab her by the neck, forcing her back against my chest. “Answer me, or I’ll spank that ass so hard you’ll be dripping, but I won’t let you come.” “Both. I’m drenched because I want you to spank me and I wouldn’t mind getting caught.”  I push her back down, letting her assume her previous position. “Good girl.”
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“Your cunt is dripping for me, dirty girl. You want to come for me?” “Yes!” She yells loudly and I use my other hand to cover her mouth and pull her back to me.  “When we’re inside, be as loud as you want, darling. Right now, I need you to be quiet for me. Shout into my hand as I fuck you with my fingers, alright? Be a good girl and I’ll let you come.”
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I’m too far gone. “That pretty little cunt takes my cock so good, baby. Look at this sweet little ass, you like being fucked here too?” The question has her clenching around me.  I’m glad she can’t see my cock grin as I keep going. “Not tonight, but soon, darling. I’ll fuck every one of your holes.”  “Please.” Her voice is desperate. “You going to come for me?”
71%
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“Sit on his face, love. Then I’ll let you choke on my dick.” Val moves immediately, straddling my face and hovering over me. Not acceptable. I pull her down until I’m struggling to breathe.  Perfect. I plan on drowning in her, so I get to work.
72%
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He looks at me and smirks. “Sorry about this but try and keep your eyes on her tits. They are phenomenal.”  My confusion clears up when he steps over my head. His ass is sitting against my headboard while his feet are on either side of my neck. I can see his nuts, swinging above me like a testicle pendulum of doom.
73%
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“Oh fuck. You’re so wet. Yes, ride me. Hard.” It feels amazing having her on top of me, taking whatever she wants to chase her own needs. Romeo’s hand reaches out and pulls her mouth down on him again. “Good girl. You want to fuck Beau while I fuck your mouth?”
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She pulls off for a minute before looking up at Romeo. “Fuck my face like you mean it.” Then she puts his dick back in her mouth, sliding down until her nose is pressing against his pelvic bone. It’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. 
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Romeo grunts, holding her head in place as he takes her request seriously, and we both listen to choking sounds coming from Val. I don’t even mind the drool that’s falling onto her tits is dripping to my chest.  In fact, it gives me an idea. “Take his cum and ride my dick until you scream. Then I’m going to paint your tits.”
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“Good fucking girl.” I tell her as toss the condom to the floor. It only takes two pumps before I unleash on her chest. I watch as my best friend gathers my cum on his fingers before putting them in front of Val’s mouth.  She doesn’t hesitate, sucking them clean.
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“Tongue out.” Once he’s happy with my compliance he tilts my head back with his grip on my hair. Then he does something I definitely wasn’t expecting. He spits in my mouth before standing and thrusting back inside. “Take all three of us in all your hot little holes.”
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“I’m about to come, baby girl.” Beau and Romeo both say something similar and soon they’re all grunting and chasing their release.  Hart brings my head all the way to the end of his length as he releases. He holds me there for several seconds, making sure every drop is out. “That’s a really good girl. Swallow me down. All of it.”
93%
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My head has barely finished nodding before he’s leading me into the limo. All three climb in behind me and it takes serious strength to not climb one or two of them immediately. I can be patient, though. I’m a grown ass woman. 
96%
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“Get it nice and wet for me, honey. I want it sliding in and out of your mouth without resistance. Otherwise, I might just put it down your throat and stay there while you gag until I come.”  I mean, if you insist.