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We both lay there in complete silence, pretending to sleep, and I really was amazed by the depths I had sunk to again, lying in bed in spring in Berlin with a boy who I did not like, unable to sleep, and not saying a single honest thing.
I don’t want to emasculate a man by towering over him. Sometimes I feel protective of literally everyone.
My whole life was a kind of montage for a rescue scene. I wanted someone to save me from my dysfunctional self. I didn’t know what this rescue would look like exactly or who its instigator would be—I hoped for a kind of druid or monk figure.
I’m always flattered when people point out things I do, even if they are inaccurate or insulting.
What are all these people hanging around all the time for, anyway? Doesn’t anyone have a JOB to go to?! Of course, I didn’t work, either. But I was on a prolonged gap year. This wasn’t my life!
I’d infected the place with my own atmosphere and my unpleasant habits. The place was no longer an escape from myself, but a kind of landscape of my own mind: