Helfyre (Agía Sahnta #1)

by Mariel Pomeroy

Under the setting sun of the desert, Aheia’s fear felt like hot kernels of sand and the caress of impending shadows. She recognized it in the way it gripped her neck and hurtled her heart into a rhythm that had her lightheaded, though the taste on her tongue was foreign. In days past, fear had churned Aheia’s stomach like the rotten meat she’d been forced to eat to survive. Before that it had lived in the stale waters of stagnant streams, and yet further back it had sounded like crunching leaves when there shouldn’t have been a soul for miles.

I really like the “fear as a metaphorical monster” parallel in the second paragraph, but it’s doing too much here. Making it a Swiss army knife to foreshadow, introduce the setting, and also give background on the protagonist’s journey feels like overkill.

She’d learned a lot about fear in her time on the run, discovered how it lay dormant in common places and actions, waiting for movement or thought to jolt it awake. It had been an emotion she knew well, even before she escaped her home in Keloseros. A different version of the same invisible monster.

Love everything about this

Aheia whimpered,

This repeated use of the character’s proper name in their own POV feels awkward. People don’t refer to themselves by their first name, for the same reason we shouldn’t do this in third person limited (it’s not technically wrong, but it doesn’t sound right, either)

part wolf and part ancient Calmani magyck.

❓ She describes the Varcolac here as “part wolf, part ancient Calmani magyck.” This is interesting, because later we learn that the Varcolacs are Arioch’s creatures—‘they share his shadows.’ But we also learn later that he doesn’t speak or understand Calmani. Possible foreshadowing, or maybe a plot hole?

To most people, the border she was racing towards meant death—-the entrance to a realm that dealt in darkness and gambled with souls unapologetically—the place that mortals called hel. To her, it was the closest thing to salvation she’d ever seen.

I LOVE A GOOD CORRUPTION AS SALVATION THEME

The dark onyx that separated Aljira from the mortal realm bisected the tangerine-painted sky and dark red sands like a static disruption of nature. The thick wall of magyck and wards coiled and rolled like ominous thunderclouds, as if the border itself was alive.

Interesting to note: black onyx is used to protect against evil spirits, but is also “a shield against energies that drain physical and emotional vitality” so possible foreshadowing there. Anyway, just pretty (I love the red sand detail)

Never again would she let Ophion lay a hand on her.

Ophion, when I catch u-

The thick blood that haunted her nightmares dripped onto the sand in front of her, marrying reality with her past in a way that had her struggling for the truth.

Baby Has a Breakdown (More at 6)

There had been so much blood in her short life,

periodtttt

The blood had disappeared—though she knew it would always follow her—only to be replaced by an ominous cloud of shadows that drifted into view, blocking out the sun.

I love a good “Flees Symbolically into the Darkness to Escape Suffering”

The words in her mind shifted at the first sign of failure, sounding every bit as tired, desolate, and hopeless as she felt.

She’s so BPD-coded

It was as if she wanted to fail, the darkness in her veins whispering lies into her ear. She knew they were lies, had heard them before, but it was hard to remember their duplicity when the words sounded so sweet.

A lot of readers seem confused about the ending of Honey because author doesn’t believably reinforce the concept of Aheia having—rather than shadows—a self-destructive, unreliable voice in her head. That is her “Dark Urge” so to speak, and it’s too easily confused with her own inner monologue (should really choose one or the other, if she isn’t going to discern between the two with some form of punctuation or identifier).

as the border became so close she could see her reflection in it.

there’s this reoccurring motif of reflections—being able to see oneself (the true or inner self, maybe, though my personal suspicion is this is more so a “shadow self” sort of thing) It happens at vortexes, for instance; but interestingly enough, Aheia uses it to reinforce what seems to be a misconception about Arioch’s intentions, the night she goes into the city. Arioch and Aheia both describe seeing their reflections in the blade of a dagger. Aheia has her confrontation with the mirror after arriving in Aljira, and later has this curious sort of introspective moment with her reflection after Kar helps her get ready. This device gets carried over in Honey, when they’re in the orchard, and later in the FauxHel Churchbar. She finds it easier to communicate with Arioch’s reflection than she does Arioch himself—possibly because she finds herself able to displace emotional attachment by making these interactions feel separate from herself, or because it takes the guilt off the moral self-policing her feelings for him incite. She’s like “huh maybe I’m not a monster/monsterfucker IF I dissociate hard enough.” I’m actually not sure whether this motif is INTENDED to be differentiated from the “outside looking in” concept we see when Arioch visits the Shaytān, or when Aheia confronts herself before she wakes up in the river. At the end of book two, when Arioch loses his temper in the Nerium nest, Aheia again describes herself in this sort of out-of-body, birds-eye-view experience. In retrospect, this is maybe a “Now you see it”/“Now it’s second nature” type of thing.

The Dioscuri in front of her was distorted, her features moving with the dark swirls until the magyck pieced her back together.

✨Baby’s Doing Shadow Work✨ Again, I really enjoy this symbolism, and it is foreshadowing in the sense that the darkness does essentially “piece her back together,” at least in her own words.

just as pain blossomed in her ankle and her body was jerked down against the ground.

the significance of timing here

dark, cracked claws pulled her further from the border, hope dwindling in her mind with every passing moment.

I really like the concept of the darkness BEHIND her trying to drag her back from the darkness in front of her.

You’re done.

lmao tiktok sound

Her fingers seared as if she were holding her hand over an open flame, agony eating at both ends of her when the shadow creature bit down harder. She pulled herself forward, fire crawling up her arms, the pull on her legs threatening to tear her in two.

War of the Darknesses

The border swallowed her forearms, then her shoulders, and she inched into the darkness in front of her,

*that 1 Tool song plays in background* 🎶SHOULDER-DEEP WITHIN THE BORDERLINE—🎶 🥲 It is actually an eerily fitting anthem for book 2, come to think of it.

her head pushing through the barrier,

❓ how did her head push through after her shoulders???? Nvm

I miss you.

this back-to-back change in POV is throwing me off. “At least I’ll see her again” / “I miss you”

the pain suddenly stopped. The invisible fire vanished from around her as air rushed into her lungs, and her leg throbbed in agony.

does the pain stop or does the leg throb?

Of course, the monster could follow her into Aljira.

❓ what made her think the hellhound would not be able to enter Hell?

I won’t die on my knees.

*is currently lying on the ground*

“Athiran.”

“Finally” 🔮 But let’s talk about the foreshadowing of: ✨the Shadow Figure in the epilogue having the same opening line (in Calmani)✨

His gaze felt like a touch,

…I bet it did

she wondered if the art continued across the rest of his body.

She just got attacked but I respect her for thinking with her pussy in this moment.

pushing back onto her heels with a sudden need to gather herself.

Baby Forgets Her Suffering Long Enough to Make Tammy Faye Eyes at Demon Daddy (real)

hands big enough to close around half of her ribcage,

I know this was intended to activate my size kink but I’m picturing him as Groundskeeper Hagrid at this point, so he’ll have to be extra hot to compensate for this. (coming back to update: AHAHA YEAH GUYS DONT WORRY)

An Avarice This Nephilim wasn’t just another Leviathan, but a demon that could bend shadows to his will just like Dioscuri could bend light.

*Enter Shadow Daddy*

It licked up her entire body as the Avarice watched her,

…mhm, I bet it did

“Will you help me?” she asked, her mind losing its grasp on reality

Baby Insists She Doesn’t Know How She Forged That Pact with Satan

He had, of course, heard the rumors of the Mithra royal from Keloseros: a thankless Dioscuri brat on the run from her dear family.

Daddy’s Little Runaway 🥹

stories of evasion, murder, and unimaginable travels.

Homer called he wants his *checks notes* “Odysseus” back

eyrid

“coin”

Čist

“Derogatory for Mithra”

He didn’t think she’d make it, frankly. He didn’t think she would clear the Red Sea; didn’t think he’d see her in his Borderlands alive.

wrong tense

He’d sent one of his Varcolac after her,

Arioch: MAKE me your villain :)

She’d ask him for a favor—they all asked for favors—and he’d grant it to her, for a price.

mmm seasoned with *checks notes* Faustian

a little goddess fallen from grace,

*Paris Hilton voice* that’s hot

On top of that, it wasn’t just the balance between Aljira and Keloseros that he’d be fucking with, but the frail politics in his own realm on top of that.

repetition

Though the conflict it would cause to have her stay with him might just be worth getting to twist her up into tiny knots and dangle her out of Ophion’s reach.

b-b-bondage metaphor

It was calculated, all of it. The chase, the taunt, the pain. He needed her fear of what lay behind her to be greater than what she faced in front of her.

sorry all I’m hearing is that he planned their first date, like, WAY in advance

“I don’t deal in charity.”

He’s such a bastard (I would)

at the side of the piece of cloth that was barely holding onto her body.

god I hope she didn’t pay this editor.

She needed to be pushed further, clean across the edge of reason that protected her from the request he was about to make.

Is this *checks notes* Caretaker Behavior?

The Dioscuri behind him shifted, and he heard a soft noise—not quite a whimper, not quite a groan—but every bit of it enticing. He wanted to see her face the next time she made a sound like that.

MMC already aware of fact reader just realized (significant overlap in sounds of pain and sounds of ecstasy)

The thought stroked a sadistic part of him as he watched the raw emotions threading her delicate features. So bright and pure, so absolutely ready to be corrupted. It was sweet, the naivety in it all, that she didn’t consider him to be the monster behind the shadows.

Corruption Kink Activated ‼️

She was losing blood fast. He could see her eyes glazing.

Something soooo deliciously sadistic about him watching her slowly become nonsensical from blood loss and using it to take advantage of her

She squeaked, closing the distance between them, her hands grabbing onto his shirt as if she might try to crawl inside it and hide.

Forced Proximity Alert ‼️ me: is this ✨chemistry?✨