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February 25 - February 26, 2023
If I like to play princess, she’s a genuine, pure-bred grand duchess—snoot in the air and prancing—but
Fate has to be playing a joke. My aesthetic is delicate, sweet, romantic, cottagecore. His aesthetic is—the pants I wore all last week are fine. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. Haircuts are for the weak. I kill things with my bare hands in human form. I’ve been through hell and seen the other side.
“Come on. YOLO.” Kennedy grins at me. I taught her YOLO.
“You feel it, don’t you? That we’re mates?” Without hesitation, he jerks a sharp nod.
Why do I care about being ladylike in Darragh Ryan’s murder shack? Patriarchy. It’s the only explanation.
He’s done something with himself. Washed and combed his hair. Gotten someone to even it up and trim his beard. He’s wearing different pants.
His hair is combed back neatly. I don’t like it. I want it messy, falling in his face. I want to run my fingers through it. I want to pull it. I do?
I learned a long time ago that people do things that are incomprehensible, and in the end, there is nothing you can do but rely on yourself. You have to dress yourself, tie your own shoes, make your own way to the brand-new alpha’s cabin, knock on his door, and tell him your dam is dead, and you’re hungry, and you don’t know what you’re supposed to do. You have to sew yourself back together again.
I hold my breath until my lungs burn because the part of you that wants to be loved is so very, very fucking hard to kill.
It’s Darragh Ryan. The mate who wasn’t, but who won’t quite go away.
He knows I’m tuning in—because he’s been tuned in the whole time. I don’t know how I know, but I do. Is the bond so strong because of him? Because he’s been tending to it all along?
I don’t know how, but even when she’s not in heat, Mari’s scent makes me think of pretty shit—like rainbows and snowflakes and butterflies. It’s insane, but hell, so am I.
“You like books,” I say. “You do, too.” I hum a yes. “What do you like?” “Anything that has a happy ending.”
“You want me,” I whisper. “Yes.” “A lot.” “Like air,” he says. My lips curve, sad and rueful and bittersweet. “Nobody wants air.” “They need it.” “You don’t need me.” He walked away. He stayed away. “Like air,” he says again with a note of finality.
“Oh, Mari,” he growls. “I want to do things to you.”
Some scars, man, we give them to ourselves.”
“There’s been no one since I noticed you.”
He couldn’t talk to me, and I couldn’t listen. A fated pair.
This male belongs to me. He came for me. He bailed, but he didn’t leave me. He’s been around.
“He’s part of you. That means he’s mine, too.”
“You’re mine,” he whispers against my cheek. “You’re mine,” against my temple. “You’re mine,” on my forehead, along my hairline. “Yes,” I exhale,
It’s a dream. I don’t have them anymore. But I could. If I were brave enough. If I dare.
“But you came back.” “I’ll always come back.” His fingers still, and his eyes find mine. “I will fuck up, but I’ll come back every time. If you’ll have me.” His jaw tightens. “I’ll come back even if you won’t.”
We both know that nothing’s solved, nothing’s fixed. We’re a mess. But it’s perfect all the same.