M Is for Mama: A Rebellion Against Mediocre Motherhood

by Abbie Halberstadt

The motto “If it feels good, do it” has been around for ages. But lately, “If it feels bad, don’t do it” might be leading the charge as the subconscious catchphrase of the day. This is a sobering consideration when so much of motherhood consists of doing things because they are right, even when they “feel bad” (pushing babies out of our bodies, getting up at night to feed them, making nutritious food when we’re tired, giving the hug when we’re “touched out,” to name a few). The payoff is well worth the pain, but how will we ever find that out for ourselves if we’re so busy avoiding emotional and physical discomfort that we never try? The culture of mediocre motherhood says, “All feelings are valid.” This means if we wake up in a funk, we’re not required to “adult.” (The fact that this particular word has become a verb says a lot about our society.) Our children will only get whatever we have left to give at any moment of the day, and that’s okay. But it’s really not.