Hostile

by Nicole Dykes

But my eyes eventually land where they always do. On the boy with sandy-blond hair and piercing green eyes. He’s thin and kind of lanky, a few inches shorter than me and a hell of a lot smaller in frame. But he exudes attitude and has a “fuck off” vibe I can’t bring myself to ignore.

Everything but the actual truth. A truth I’ve hidden for years. A truth that burns deep in my soul, but no one expects because I’m the all-American golden boy who has everything. The big house. The private school education. A fantastic throwing arm. Top grades. Good looks. Large, muscular body. Everything. And I must just be a gentleman. That’s why I don’t flaunt my hookups, or no one has ever heard of me hooking up with any of the girls at school. Or I must have a lover who I keep secret. All the rumors. Everything but the actual truth . . . I’m gay.

There’s no denying my insane attraction to this painfully elusive, beautiful boy. And no part of me wants to fight it.

I’m too forward with him. I know that. Normally, I’m cool and detached. People drift toward me, but that’s not going to happen with Rhett. I have to be the aggressor. The one who makes every move, and something about that lights me on fire. I feel challenged around him. Something I haven’t felt in a really, really long time, if ever.

“It’s the perfect contrast, Rhett. Both are beautiful in their own way. Both bold and strong. His choice of colors and your fearless framing. Just breathtaking.”

Feeling my body light up, every nerve coming alive inside me. And that’s exactly what he’s done to me. He brought me to life.

Please don’t kick me out, Rhett.

I don’t know if my heart could take it.

Because when he does that and kisses me like this, I can trick myself into believing I belong to him.

know it’s going to hurt like hell when he leaves, but I also know there’s no way he can stay.

Because when you’re offered love, even if you don’t trust it at first—when they show you over and over again they love you, you just have to accept it.