When I do make it to house viewings I find that they’re a lot like dating in a way. You end up modulating yourself into the sort of person you think they’d want you to be. ‘I’m clean … yeah, but not, like, anally … I mean, I tidy up after myself, you know? … No, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that … if there’s a general mess I’ll help out because sometimes it builds up and you don’t know whose it is and someone’s just got to do it … Yes, I like parties … Yeah, that’s fine that this is not a party house … I don’t want to party in my own house … No, I won’t be coming home late … much … yes, I’m a
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