That I was so keen to go back with him that the appeal of it faded until he made up that cleaner excuse and then that friend he was drinking pints with until he wasn’t speaking to me at all. I know I should be annoyed at this sexist construct that requires women to dampen their desires in order to appease men. And I know I should walk away from Josh thinking, Fuck you, why did you ask then if you wanted me to say no? But right now, I don’t care that it’s backwards for me to act in this way. I’m just annoyed that I’m too drunk to have been able to sense that I should have.
