If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe (John Dies at the End, #4)

by Jason Pargin

This society now mutates so quickly that I feel myself straining to keep up, becoming a fool in real time.

She crossed her arms. “Why are you wearing pants right now?” “What?” “I’m making a point. Why are you wearing pants? Think and then give me your best answer.” “Uh, because everyone gets mad if you walk around with your dick out?” “Right. And why do those people get mad?” “Because … it’s not the thing you’re supposed to do.” “In other words, they get mad because unspecified other people expect them to get mad. So you wear pants because other people expect you to, and those people expect you to because other people expect them to expect you to. Our personalities are just like water in mud puddles, filling in the holes of other people’s expectations.”

On wearing pants

I wondered who invented walls and what he was ashamed of.

They were all doing their best, and their best was just an appalling disaster.

“Don’t romanticize people’s flaws. That’s what’s wrong with our culture.” “No. What’s ruining the culture is worshipping people who pretend they don’t have flaws. We’re all broken.