If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe (John Dies at the End, #4)

by Jason Pargin

We were just about to head to the lake to do that thing where we celebrate America’s birthday by terrifying all of its dogs,

This was fortunate, because I happen to have an advanced certificate in hanging back and letting things run their course.

Depression means expending all your energy to avoid having to expend energy. I wish someone would invent a pill that would give me the motivation to go pick up my Lexapro refill.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

They wanted it to always be at the back of your mind, almost as if some forms of modern entertainment are really about creating a continuous sense of low-level anxiety.

He’d have gotten a copy of Infinite Jest or something. Start hollowing it out after, like, page seventy, since you know nobody is going to get that far.