If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe (John Dies at the End, #4)

by Jason Pargin

Hell, some of the people reading this are in that situation.

It’s me. Hi 👋🏻

anxiety is also a kind of parasite.

Sometimes when life’s Warning Light won’t stop flashing, the best thing you can do is just put some electrician’s tape over it.

BLOOD EVERYWHERE GUY CHOPPED UP IN MY WALL GET HERE ASAP I THINK I LEFT MY PHONE CHARGER THERE

Sounds like some shit I would text Patrick.

Depression means expending all your energy to avoid having to expend energy. I wish someone would invent a pill that would give me the motivation to go pick up my Lexapro refill.

Fuck the accuracy hurts my feelings

That’s one of the five weirdest things I’ve ever seen in this parking lot.

Looking back, it’s almost grotesque how casual we were about it, but, hey, hindsight makes assholes out of everybody.

That’s the kind of foreshadowing my little fake English major heart loves

I shouted, “What the fuck?” in a tone that was earnestly pleading for an answer.

I ALSO shouted what the fuck…

Man, Florida seemed like a terrifying place.

It is