When You're Ready, This Is How You Heal

by Brianna Wiest

stop giving your love to those who aren’t ready to love you.

Stop showing up for people who are indifferent about your presence.

Stop prioritizing people who make you an option.

Stop loving people who aren’t ready...

More people saw your potential than you realize.

When the people closest to you look at you, they see far more of your greatness than you ever would looking at yourself.

we don’t even realize that we have to let go, only that what we’re doing now is not working.

we are using that thing to hide something about ourselves, and that something is our dissatisfaction.

Deep down, the relationship that ended was a distraction from the relationship you don’t have with yourself.

You will have to spend many nights by yourself, in candlelight, making yourself dinner, learning to love yourself, to be alone with yourself and enjoy that time. You will have to stay precisely where you are and learn to mend the wound of your unworthiness before you can be loved.

It’s about carving out space for deep rest. The deepest rest you’ve ever given yourself. It’s about realizing that your body knows what to do, and your job is to support it, to step out of the way.

It’s about changing your environment, both in big ways and small. This might mean moving. It might mean cleansing your space of relics, so you are no longer living in a museum of the past. It’s about realizing that you will adapt to what’s around you, and so you must choose wisely. You must create even just one corner of peace within your own little world, recognizing finally that “home” was never a place that existed anywhere outside of your own heart.

It’s about visualizing your future self and being willing to believe that maybe, just maybe, that person could be real.

In one way or another, something that you expected to be around for the foreseeable future was taken, and in that, your sense of safety was removed as well.

The thing about things we lose is that they weren’t working for a very long time, we just didn’t realize it.

It wasn’t working for a long time, that’s why it’s over.

When you declare that you’ll never find love because

We often come to believe that the things that are most right for us are the ones that give us the biggest emotions, and that is a mistake.The things that are truly right for us give us the deepest emotions. Love is a pervasive, steady presence, not a heart-pumping dash of lust. Destiny is a subtle coincidence, it makes you stop and say, well, isn’t it funny how that worked out.

What’s right for us isn’t a harsh declaration, it isn’t something we have to force or wonder about for too long. It isn’t something that leaves us looking for signs, it doesn’t require us to poll our friends to gather their opinions. It doesn’t leave us questioning, grieving, self-doubting. It doesn’t put us on hold. It doesn’t feel as though we have to grab it before it is gone, but rather, that it will always be waiting for us when we are ready.

The right things will find you in the exact same way that everything else has. Everything that’s ever come and everything that ever will—it was brought to life by your presence and your participation.

What we are looking for is not a life path that is easy, but one that is worthwhile. One that we are willing to hurt for, to reach for, to stretch for. One where the difficulty doesn’t become a deterrent, but a subtle motivator. One where we can go home at the end of the night and close our eyes and feel at ease with the fact that we tried our best toward something that really mattered in our lives or in someone else’s, and that, itself, is enough.

The things that are truly right for you will find you, and they will stay. They will grow you, challenge you, and change you.

we will let go only if we have to, only if we are forced, only if the world truly proves to us that something is not meant to be.