She defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” She believes that most people give too much power to this emotion when making life choices.”138 She doesn’t think we can “solve” shame and suggest that people pay attention to a slightly different emotion, guilt. She defines guilt as “holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort.”139 In contrast to shame, guilt is actionable. The disconnect between what we claim to care about and what we do
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