Elite (Empire High, #2)

by Ivy Smoak

He promised me all sorts of things in the darkness of night. But in the light of day? I wasn’t sure he meant a word of it.

He didn’t know my mother at all. She cared about quality time, not quality items. The only expensive thing she owned was a floor-length cobalt blue dress that she wore on special occasions. Like when I pretended to open a bakery in the middle of our kitchen and she came to my opening night.

“I like your outfit.” He put his hand on my shoulder and gently ran it down to my elbow. “Your sweater is really soft.”

such a small thing that had me drooling

“You can stop securing the premises or whatever you’re doing,” I said. “No one’s trying to hurt me.

I yodeled

“Want me to take care of him?” “What does that even mean?” Miller brushed a crumb off the lapel of his suit jacket. “You don’t need to know the specifics.”

lmao

He nodded. “Got it. Never have I ever…used a public restroom.” I laughed. He clearly didn’t understand the game. That was just a flat out lie. I was about to correct him, but Kennedy beat me to it. “Wait,” Kennedy said. “Your thing is supposed to be something you haven’t done.” “Right. I’ve never used a public restroom. That’s what I just said.” “Wait,” Kennedy said again. “Are you seriously telling me that you’ve never used a public restroom?” “Never.” Her jaw dropped. “How is that humanly possible?” “I always just go home.” “So if you had to pee right now…” He shrugged. “I’d go home.” No freaking way. That was the weirdest thing I’d ever heard in my life. Had he never had a bathroom emergency? Oh, no, what if he had? That meant he’d probably wet his pants in his fancy town car. “But you’d have to drive like 20 minutes,” she said. “You’re supposed to raise your hand if you have done that thing,” Cupcake said. “You’re not supposed to question it.”

I ALMOST SCREAMED

“Okay that was…interesting,” Kennedy said. “Well, it finally all makes sense. Now I understand that thing you told me. You know…that tidbit of information would be really great for this game.” Cupcake looked horrified. “Don’t…” “Never have I ever sharted my pants at school,” Kennedy said before Cupcake could stop her. I almost spit out the sugarcake I was eating when I saw Cupcake’s eyes bug out of his head. “I told you that in confidence,” Cupcake hissed at her. She held back her laugh as only Cupcake raised his hand. “It was one time,” Cupcake said. Felix laughed. “Man, maybe you should start using a public restroom.” “One time,” he grumbled.

It was my mom and me against the world. As soon as I thought it, I closed my eyes. My mom and me against the world. For a few minutes there, I had forgotten that my mom was dead. I’d forgotten everything that hurt.

I was much too curious to find out if two broken souls could make one perfectly whole one. Because I really needed them to. I didn’t want to feel like I was drowning anymore.

deep

His hands were still on my face, trying to get me to look at him. Trying to get me to answer his very simple question. But it wasn’t simple to me. Nothing was simple anymore. And then Matt’s hands were on Felix, ripping him away from me. I wasn’t sure who landed the first punch, but before I even realized what was happening, they’d toppled onto the coffee table, snapping its legs with a crunch that echoed around the room.

this scene >

“Time is limited, Matt! And every time you don’t have my back, that’s time I can never get back.” I’m running out of time. I pictured my mom unconscious on the kitchen floor. I pictured my uncle coughing at the kitchen table. I’d never have enough time.

Brooklyn and time…

He was as broken as me. That was why he always knew the right thing to say to me. That was why he knew all I needed was for him to hold me. He just…knew. He knew what it felt like to lose someone.

He leaned back with a smile on his face. But I saw it now. The sadness in his eyes. How had I not seen it before?

:(

He was just like me. I didn’t feel nearly as alone anymore.

“What if we have a secret code?” “A code?” “So that you’ll know I’m on your side even if I can’t say anything.” “I’m not sure that will really help.” “Or a signal so I know to help get you out of a situation?” It should have been pretty clear when I needed help. But maybe a signal would assist him. And it would allow us to communicate without anyone knowing. “What about sticking out our tongues?” He laughed. “People will think we’re sick. How about you bite your lip.” “Like this?” I bit my bottom lip and I swore he groaned. “Yeah. Like that.” He did the same and I realized why he groaned. Something about the way his teeth dug into his lip made me wish he was doing it to me. My lips. My skin. Anything. He could bite me anywhere he wanted. “You don’t think it’s too suggestive?” He smiled. “You might be right. How about we rub the tip of our nose with our index finger?” “That works for me.”

so cute

But just then Matt walked past us. Our eyes locked for a second and he ran his index finger against his nose and then winked. I was pretty sure I melted right there.

“I told you not to break my heart. I’ve told you a million times. I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay in a really long time, and you’re making it worse. Everything you do just makes it worse.” “Just give me a chance to explain.” “No one person should ever need to give this many explanations.”

Forever was too long for someone with his privilege to understand. But me? I understood that forever could be cut short far too soon. That forever felt endless when you were alone.

I needed to be with someone like me. Someone who wanted to pick up glass when it shattered.

“Hate and love are a fine line, kid.”

“I’ll make you feel less alone whenever you want. I’ll let you see your friends. I’ll stop checking every room you walk into if that’s what you want. I’ll let you eat my ice cream and borrow my phone. I’ll give you the code so you can sneak out whenever you want. But don’t ask me to let you spend the night when I know you’re in love with someone else.”

“So you’re offering me kisses but not…” my voice trailed off as I looked at his bed “…snuggles.” He shook his head and laughed. “You’re definitely too young for me.”

But before he walked off, he peeled away the page with the crossword puzzle and handed it to me.

I heard the clock ticking down in my head that I always heard when something bad was about to happen. I’d never been wrong before. I’d always been good at knowing when my time was running out.

He looked back up at me in the stands and my heart started racing. He ran his index finger across the tip of his nose. My heart melted. Our secret signal.

“I think maybe I just miss the feeling of being loved by someone. Unconditionally. And I know that there’s conditions with all of them. But for a few seconds when Miller holds me, I feel like someone’s on my side. Like I’m not alone.”

Then the sophomore float started to go by and I could barely breathe. Matt was standing in the middle of it, still in his football gear but without the helmet. A few of his teammates were on either side of him. He was holding a microphone in his hand and staring right at me. Music started blaring through the speakers of the stadium. It was a You’re An American Reject song that I knew pretty well called My Dirty Little Secret. “What is happening?” Kennedy asked right before Matt lifted the mic to his mouth. She gasped. “Oh my God he’s going to sing to you.” “No he’s not.” “This one’s for all the beautiful ladies out there!” Matt yelled into the microphone. “See,” I said, but my voice was so weak I doubted Kennedy heard it. Had he really moved on that quickly? Hadn’t I? I swallowed hard. I hadn’t. That was the whole problem. “Just kidding,” Matt said. “This one’s for my girl. Brooklyn Sanders in the house!” Oh my God. He really is going to sing to me. Kennedy nudged me with her elbow. “This isn’t happening,” I said as students had already started looking back and forth between me and the float. “Oh, it’s happening,” Kennedy said with a laugh as the music got louder. “I know what I’ve done wrong,” Matt sung. If you could even call it singing, because it was way off key. “I’ve known it all along. I’ve tried to come clean a time or two. But I won’t steal any more time from you.” I stared at him in horror. He was changing the lyrics to be about…us. I think? “What the hell is he ...

this was actually amazing

“I loved your mom because she was everything I could never have. She didn’t care what people thought of her. She was beautiful inside and out. She was honest. She was…happy.”

“You look fucking hot, Brooklyn,” he said. “And I know my brother is excited to see you at the dance.”

Take that Whizzy

“You know what you need?” She looked so excited and for some reason it made me wary. “No…what?” “Your favorite.” Her voice was weirdly high-pitched. I just stared at her confused. “Punch!”

I LOVE PUNCH!

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” James said. “Not if I do it first.” “Better idea,” James said. Before I even realized what was happening, James had pulled me back into his arms. And his lips were on mine. Revenge tasted bitter even though his lips were sweet.

It was like James wanted to be hit. Like he was craving the taste of blood. Because all he did was laugh and wipe the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand. “That’s all you got, Caldwell?” he asked. “You hit like a little bitch.” Matt took another swing, hitting James’ jaw in the same spot. James spat blood out on the dance floor and laughed again. “I gave you two shots because you’re two years younger.” He tilted his head to the side and cracked his neck. “But now you fucking die.” He lowered his shoulder and rammed into Matt.

Someone screamed at the top of their lungs. I would have sworn it was Justin from how high-pitched it was, but I was pretty sure he wasn’t here.

Why’d the music stop?” he yelled and turned to the DJ. “Turn it the fuck up. This is a party.” He threw his hands into the air. “Rob,” Mr. Hill said. “Language.” As if that was the worst thing that had happened here tonight.

“I like being friends with you,” I said. “You’re not looking at me like a friend,” he said. “Yes I am.” “No…you’re not.” He tilted his head a little lower to mine.

Rob started laughing. He was laughing so hard, the muscles in his arms tightened, pulling me closer. “Miss Sanders,” Mr. Hill said in that same tone he scolded me in class. “Mr. Hunter. One foot between dancers at all times.” He shoved a ruler between Rob and me. My face had to be bright red. “Sorry, Mr. Hill,” Rob said when he was finally able to catch his breath. “I’ll make sure she keeps her hands off me.” “Rob.” I shoved his shoulder. “See what I mean?” he said. “So handsy.”

“I hate that I make you cry. I just want to make you happy.”

Same, Matt. Get it together.

“I love the way you look at me. I love the way you look when you look at me…like your whole face lights up.”

But he still noticed things about me that no one else did. He saw me. He knew me.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be happy. That doesn’t mean you aren’t my forever. You are my forever. I know you are.”

I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing. Which just made him laugh too. Which somehow ended up with him pressing his lips to mine. For just a second we stood like that. Remembering what it felt like to be us.