Runaway Groomsman

by Meghan Quinn

No man undoes the top four buttons of his shirt as casual wear unless his first name starts with Douche and the last ends with Canoe.

I make a graceful bow—because it feels right—and when I straighten up, I lift both of my middle fingers, one for each of them. “I pray to the Holy Spirit that this marriage goes down in flames.”

Yup, this is a hangover at the age of thirty-five. Walking the line between life and mortality.

“Sweetheart” is reserved for the men who can’t handle calling their woman “baby.”

It’s been a couple of weeks, hoe! Keep it in your freaking pants and stop pressuring him! If the roles were reversed, there would be an uproar because the man kept pressuring the woman for sex!

“Sometimes, when you think you’ve hit rock bottom, what you’ve really hit is the foundation for the next chapter in your life.

It is really pissing me off that she keeps pushing the issue when he has explained he wants to take it slow and not rush this part of their relationship. The double standards are so real.

I’m actually angry now. Women want men to stop when they say stop. But because it’s a man, she can keep doing whatever the hell she wants and it’s “okay.” It’s BS.

I’m going to hate her the rest of the book now. Her acting like this is going to severely lower the rating I give this book.